


Red Sky in Mourning

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 21:16:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6770200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This starts five years after the Doomstar Requiem.  The Metalocalypse’s time has come, the fight against Selatcia (based on <a href="http://i.imgur.com/2pQMuFT.jpg">this scan</a>), and the immediate aftermath.<br/>Yes I know my weather timeline is all wrong (probably, who really knows for sure?), but let’s just blame it on Selatcia’s involvement.  Somehow.<br/>Embedded lyrics belong to Dethklok.<br/>Warnings: Character death</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gods and Monsters

_The blazing star it burns so bright._  
The darkened power the dethly light.  
Bring it on now this is our time.  
We’re the new regime together we’ll fight. 

There were worldwide reports of a flying monster of a man, and people died wherever he appeared. News footage, most of it shaky or blurry due to the filmer’s panic, showed a sight that only Dethklok had previously seen, way back at Roy Cornickelson’s funeral. Selatcia, in his giant flying fanged form, appearing seemingly at random.  
Attempts to predict where he would go were futile, there was no pattern anyone could discern that made any sense at all.

The cause of death was usually attributed to lightning, but some seemed to spontaneously vomit out their own intestines. Or, it was said, even explode.  
Was it a single being, or many? How could only one travel so far and so fast? The world was in a rising state of panic, unsure what the hell they were up against or how to possibly stop it.  
Some even claimed it was actually God, but this was not a popular opinion.

Military forces were activated, alert and ready, and they had chances to take this thing (or one of these things?) down. It didn’t matter what they fired at it though, it seemed unaffected. One group in Spain even managed to get a solid hit with an anti-tank round, still nothing.  
Whispers had begun among world leaders, about the possibility of resorting to nuclear weapons. Everyone knew the heavy price that would come with that decision, but all other options were quickly being exhausted.

At the haus, Dethklok was actually following the news for a change. They knew who that was, they’d faced him before and had to run for their lives. They could go back into the water and wait for the world to end, but as much as they’d all tried to forget, they still remembered those cave paintings that priest dude had showed them. Nobody else knew about those, except Charles, and they hadn’t seen him in five years.  
They were supposed to do... something?

Nathan was sitting on the couch, holding Ian who had fallen asleep in his lap with one small fist tangled in his hair. Skwisgaar sat beside them, the others were scattered around the room. The news was on, but they were all pretending they weren’t actually watching it, and just had forgotten to change the channel. Of course they were all watching it.  
They knew this involved them, but they didn’t know what they were supposed to do! Nobody’d ever mentioned that part.

On the tv, they were showing footage shot by a victim whose phone had miraculously survived the killing bolt that ended it’s owner’s life. The reporter spoke some language none of them could understand, but they didn’t need to, the looped video, the closeup shot of long glowing fangs, there weren’t words for that anyway.  
He’d tormented them for years, or at least tried to, and they didn’t even know why. They’s _never_ known why.

“Guys, why are you watching this?” Abigail had entered the room, frowning at the tv. “Our security is excellent and there have been no sightings locally, we’re safe here.”  
None of them bothered to meet her eyes. Mordhaus should be safe, yes, but them? No way, they were a critical part of this, no matter how much they all wished otherwise. They were watching and waiting, but they weren’t safe.

With a sigh (they’d been over this before), Abigail scooped up Ian, carefully working Nathan’s hair free. “I’m putting him in bed. Nathan, please don’t sit out here all night?” He’d done that before, the whole band had.  
“Yeah.” It was more of a grunt. She didn’t know, and he couldn’t bear to tell her.  
Skwisgaar reached over and patted his shoulder, understanding.

*****

Deep within the Church of the Black Klok, Charles Ofdensen had also been watching and waiting. The time to act was drawing near, the prophecy was almost upon them. He hoped Dethklok would be ready, but it didn’t matter if they weren’t, they would have to do this no matter what.  
Now the waiting was almost over.  
An army of monks stood by, ready for his orders.

Five years gone, but he still felt close to them. Five long years since they’d stood in this cave, planning Toki’s rescue. Five short years, now that the time was up.  
So much had changed, but in a way nothing had.  
He knew better than anyone what those ancient paintings meant. Ready or not, it was destined that Dethklok would prevail.  
And he would die.

_And the star will turn to blood on this prophet's night_  
And the Prophecy has warned us that one of us must die...  
Before this is all over... one of us must die! 

*****

A World Council was called, national leaders and any others of high ranking significance were asked to meet, to discuss how to stop this reign of terror. The attacks were coming daily now, and _anyone_ could be next, there still seemed to be no pattern at all, none that could be found. The carnage was growing, no longer individual people but groups, buildings, sometimes larger areas.  
Strike back, or wait for the world to be slowly scorched by this _thing_? Although in fighting, they would likely scorch it themselves.

Charles was there of course, he was still (on record at least) the CFO of Dethklok, who were currently ranked the world’s third largest economy. It felt strange to be back in a suit, after wearing nothing but robes for so long.  
He noticed Crozier eyeing him, and was a bit surprised the man was still alive. People associating with Selatcia tended to meet a bad end, as a rule. He would probably have objections.

It was time to speak up. “I have a proposal.” Charles stood and waited for them to listen. “Dethklok can stop him. I know how that sounds, but I have information that guarantees their victory.”  
“You will share this information,” The president of the Untied States declared. Other words leaders nodded in agreement, all focused on Ofdensen.  
“It’s classified.”  
There were murmurs of discontent at that answer.

“No one wins a nuclear war, you know this.” Charles eyed them critically. “Will you let them do this? We can still save this world, or what’s left of it.”  
“You can’t possibly listen to him!” Crozier began, but was shushed with a curt hand motion form the President.  
Charles addressed them all, “Hold off the nukes, let then do what they must.”  
The President of the United States nodded, he at least was willing to take a chance on Dethklok.

The Prime Minister banged his hand on the table to get everyone’s attention. “How do we know that whatever they might do won’t be just as bad?”  
“Actually, the fight would, ah, take place in a alternate dimension, where the Half Man is from. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s the truth.”  
“Half Man? Alternate dimensions? How many are there?” asked some Asian official, Charles couldn’t read his place tag from this angle.  
“Of him, only one. As for the other, I wouldn’t presume to know.”

There was again much murmuring, as everyone discussed this with whoever was closest.  
Charles waited, knowing what they would decide, it had been destined ages ago. It could not be changed.  
The President of the United States turned to him. “It is decided, Dethklok has three days to defeat this monster. After that point we will all strike.”  
Charles nodded curtly. “Understood.” 

*****

They’d seen Charles on the news, looking much the same as they remembered, he always looked the same. His reappearance meant that it was time, or nearly, so they were expecting him. They weren’t ready! They could never be ready for this.  
Toki was the only one who hadn’t seen the paintings with his own eyes, who didn’t know the whole story. They’d told him about it, eventually, once he’d gotten out of the hospital ward, but that probably wasn’t the same as seeing those freaky old paintings with their own eyes.  
It explained why he seemed less on edge than the rest of them though.

Charles arrived quickly, the next day, still wearing a suit. They were again focused on the tv, so didn’t notice him immediately. He took the opportunity to study them, looking for the changes of five years time.   
Toki, stretched out on the floor, coloring with a dark haired little boy that Charles knew was Ian, though he hadn’t met him before. Murderface sitting beside them. Nathan, Skwisgaar, and Pickles on the couch. The didn’t look different, but they were. They felt it too, good, that would make this easier.

“Charles!” Abigail entered the room, spotting him first.   
Craning their heads around in a comical manner, the rest jumped up and surrounded him like overeager puppies, exchanging pats and greetings.   
Toki hugged him hard, “Welcomes home.”   
The others hesitated, but then all hugged him as well, though not as hard or as throughly. He hugged them back, he’d missed them.

“Charles, this is a pleasant surprise, to what do we owe this visit?” Abigail stepped up to hug him as well.  
“Good to see you, Abigail. You look well.” Charles glanced at Nathan, who just shook his head. She didn’t know, he had never told her. She didn’t know that they had to do. Maybe that was for the best? She wasn’t a part of this, she and her son were safe on the outside.   
But she would have to know at least some things now. 

But Nathan spoke first. “Abbie, take Ian and put him to bed. There’s this... thing we have to talk about. As a band.”  
“Don’t exclude me, Nathan, you’ve been acting off for weeks now. I want to know what’s going on, I’m not leaving. I _need_ to know.” She was very stubborn when she wanted to be.  
“At least take Ian-“  
“He’s too yong to understand.” And there was no more argument, from anyone.

Toki pulled her aside to explain. “Before they saves us, they goes to this place where Charles has beens all this times since, and they gots this really cools paintings of alls us in there, well nots you but us, and it’s comes true now.”  
“ _What’s_ coming true?”  
Toki shrugged, “Prophecies thing? I didn’t sees it, we was locks up, but I still feels it sames as they does. You remembers the lights?”

She had been in really bad shape when Dethklok found them. She did indeed remember... but had always excused it as a fever dream. The whole band, levitating and glowing, strong and powerful. Even Toki, who she knew no longer even had the strength to stand, tall and straight as the others.  
That couldn’t have really happened, could it? The look in his eyes now said that it had.  
Abigail nodded, and followed them.

They all moved to sit around the table, Charles taking his old position at the head. “As you probably know,” he began, “I was at that council. They only gave us three days to act, and I lost the first one traveling here. We need to go tomorrow.”  
“Afdensen, I sure as feck hope you know how this werks, because I gat no clue. None of us do, and we’ve been thinkin’ hard”  
“I do know,” he reassured them. “Now please get some sleep, or contact your families if you’re so inclined.”

*****

“Nathan, come to bed. I don’t understand any of this, what’s going on or what you’re supposed to do, but come to bed?” Abigail looked at him pleadingly.  
“Yeah. Of course.” He followed her. “Let Ian sleep with us tonight? I just want both of you there.”  
“Are you going to be okay?”  
“We should be, yeah.” He really had no idea, but he could pretend for her sake. They left the room.

“I don’ts wants to sleeps alone tonights!”  
“Me neider, Toki.”  
“Me three,” Pickles added. “Who’s gat the biggest bed, oh thet’s raight, I do. Yer welcome ta join me, salumber party here we cahm.” He tilted his head in invitation, but Murderface shook his head, declining. Pickles shrugged, and they all headed off together.

Murderface contemplated the couch, he didn’t feel like going to him room, didn’t want to be alone, but didn’t really want to join the others either. “Charlesh, do you have anywhere to schleep?”  
“My room was kept for me, so yes. Would you like to sleep on my couch instead?” He still knew them all too well.  
Murderface nodded sadly. “Schounds good.”

Pickles did call his mother, in a brief fit of sentimentality. She started right in on _how good Seth was doing_ , not even giving him a chance to get two words in, causing him to promptly tell her to go fuck herself, and hang up. That was a waste of time.  
Skwisgaar and Toki took that as a sign to not bother calling their own mothers at all. If this worked they’d be fine anyway, all of them. And if it didn’t...  
Morning would come too soon.

*****

Dawn found them standing in an empty field, Dethklok, Charles, and a group of nine armored Klokateers. The copter had dropped them off and, then retreated back to Mordhaus as requested. These Gears carried bows instead of guns, but handled them with practiced ease.  
This seemed like terrible odds, but Charles assured them that the necessary weapons and armor, as well as an army of monks of the Black Klok, were waiting on the other side.  
The other side of what?   
But somehow, deep inside, they knew. They waited in uncharacteristic silence.

The sun rose, and there was a sudden bright white flash, the world had changed.  
The field was no longer empty. The monks, too many to easily count but a few dozen at least, were there. Some in the forefront held piles of armor, which they now silently offered to the band.  
Time was short, they put it on as quickly as they could, the monks helping them get everything on properly and securely.  
Charles had no armor, but he traded his suit for his flowing High Priest robes.

Another set of monks presented weapons, swords for Toki and Skwisgaar, a large battle ax for Murderface, twin daggers for Pickles, and a heavy spiked mace for Nathan.  
Horses were led forward, the horses were for them. Brutal horses with spiked armor, standing and awaiting their riders. No one needed to ask which was meant for him, they just knew. This knowing was reassuring, maybe they could really do this after all.

Mounted, they took a moment to around them, and spotted Mordhaus flying in the distance. Either it existed in both dimensions or it had come with them, there was no way to know.  
A volcano that hadn’t been there before was smoking ominously, but far enough away they could probably ignore it. There were oddly heavy patches of ground fog, some quite large.  
The sun climbed higher, and as one, all the monks turned to face it and dropped their robes, standing completely naked. That was weird, but probably just some monk thing.  
Charles kept his on.

There was a rumble and a giant beast unfolded from a particularly dense fog pocket. It was Mustakrakish! Well probably not _him_ , since they’d killed and ate him, but a nearly identical and very angry looking lake troll.  
Charles made a gestures and a group of monks ran to intercept it, another and the gears fell into formation and faced it as well. To the band, “Ignore that one, he’s just a distraction though he’d kill you all if he could. They’ll handle him! It’s Selatcia himself you must fight, and he’s coming fast, I can feel him.”  
They could feel him too, now. Weapons held ready, horses prancing a little in impatience, they waited. 

They watched the sky, but instead he rose from the fog, hovering just above the ground. Huge and armored, holding an impossibly long sword, and a strange darkness seemed to hover around his head.  
Charles and the rest of the monks ran toward him. Dethklok would have to act on their own now, there was nothing more he could do for them, or tell them.  
Selatcia rained blades upon his attackers, seemingly conjuring them from thin air. Monks dodged, some fell. More blades after blades followed.

“HALF MAN, YOUR TIME OS OVER!” Standing his ground, Charles shouted up at the looming figure.  
“IT HAS ONLY JUST BEGUN,” the fanged mouth boomed in reply.  
As if in response, the volcano erupted, spraying fire high into the air.  
In a sudden movement, Selatcia lowered his sword and ran Charles through. The blade burned like strange fire, turning him to bones in seconds. The empty skeleton slid off and fell into the fog, gone.

Dethklok had been frozen, unsure what to do, but seeing Charles die broke that. With a wordless yell, Nathan urged his horse and ran to fight. Skwisgaar followed just behind him, and Pickles and Murderface rode together behind him. Toki’s horse had balked for a second, putting him last in line.  
Fire from the volcano was flying impossibly far, like missiles. In the distance they saw one fireball hit Mordhaus, which largely exploded, then rained from the sky and from sight.  
There was nothing they could do now but try to end this, to kill this thing in front of them.

Nathan, in the lead, struck first, his horse skillfully dodging the still falling blades. To his surprise his mace damaged the thing’s armor.  
If they could hurt it then they could kill it, but it wouldn’t be easy. He bashed it again, hard enough to elicit a pained noise, then Skwisgaar was there to, driving his sword through the armor and into its leg, drawing the first blood.  
The giant sword came down, seeking, but their horses danced and dodged.

Murderface and Pickles joined the fray. Pickles was forced to retreat from a particularly viscous sword swipe, but Murderface landed a brutal blow with his ax, chopping through the armor into one massive thigh.  
Pickles darted back in, reaching high and jabbing his daggers into the lower abdomen. Not fatal, but surely painful.   
Blood rained down on them all, as well as the still falling blades.

Toki darted through, stabbing with his own sword, while the others kept inflicting what damage they could.  
It was too tall! They couldn’t reach high enough to deliver a killing blow, so they were forced to keep hacking at its legs, trying to bring it lower. Not a great plan when it was still floating, but the only plan they had.  
Murderface and Skwisgaar’s horses were bleeding, they’d been cut by the falling blades. Not badly, but enough to slow them down some. And they were the ones who had managed to inflict the most damage so far, this wasn’t looking good.

Selatcia swiped again with his sword, changing directions at the last second and yanking it the other way. He caught Pickles’ horse across the chest and it dropped, instantly dead. Pickles rolled clear, but was now on foot and armed with only daggers.  
Nathan ran for him, pulling him over his own horse and moving out of the immediate danger zone. As Pickles slid down, they turned in time to see Skwisgaar’s horse stumble hard, throwing him. The injured horse limped off, but was caught by falling blades and went down for good.  
Skwisgaar stood his ground, sword raised. Murderface was trying to keep it distracted, but his own horse was tiring now.

Riding back to help, Nathan was joined by Toki. “Gets Skwisgaar, we gots to ends this now.”  
How? But Toki looked determined, so he must have some sort of plan. They really didn’t have anything to lose at this point anyway, so Nathan just nodded.  
He reached Skwisgaar and pulled him astride, racing back to join Pickles. Skwisgaar, looking behind them, made a shocked noise, causing Nathan to stop and spin his horse to see.

While the thing was focusing on Murderface, who was still valiantly attempting to amputate its legs, Toki had stood up on his saddle, balancing there as his horse closed in. This made him tall enough, hopefully, to strike a killing blow.  
Murderface, seeming to understand the plan, waited until the last minute and then dodged around, turning the target but being careful not to get in Toki’s way.  
The giant sword came up again, but too slow.

Toki aimed well, managing to slide his sword into the thing’s horrible heart before being gracelessly knocked from his horse by the force of the strike. He rolled out of the way as the giant fell to the earth, driving the sword the rest of the way through its body as it landed.   
Dead, it was over, they’d beaten it. They’d won.  
Toki’s horse came back to him and he remounted, riding with Murderface to join the others.

Since they’d lost two horses and Murderface’s was injured, Nathan pulled Pickles up behind him and Skwisgaar mounted behind Toki. They looked around them, now that they finally had the chance.  
The troll was dead, the other forces had indeed handled it. Bodies littered the ground, unmoving. There seemed to be no survivors from either side, except for them.  
The volcano was still erupting, reminding them of what they’s seen, and what it might mean.

“ABIGAIL! _IAN!_ ” Nathan suddenly turned his horse and raced toward when Mordhaus had last been seen, Pickles clinging tightly, the others followed close behind him. They raced across the strange landscape, fire still streaking the sky above them.  
They topped a rise and they could see it, what was left of it, still burning and scattered. Just wreckage now.  
“NOOOOOO!”

The light flashed again, and suddenly they were alone, horseless, armorless, and no longer bloody, but still seeing the same sight, though the land around it had changed. It had been true then, Mordhaus was the same in both worlds, and it was gone.  
There were other fires, other places, smoke rising as far as they could see, and missiles still shot through the sky. It wasn’t over yet, not here. The air smelled of smoke. This wasn’t supposed to happen, this wasn’t right!  
With a determined look, Nathan started toward the wreckage, but they all blocked his way. His angry snarl didn’t make them move.

“Nathan, there’s nothin’ left, there’s nothin’ we can do.”  
“We need to find schelter fascht! I’m pretty schure thisch isch nuclear, at leascht schome of it.” It was hard to be sure with all the smoke, but he thought he’d spotted at least one mushroom cloud.  
“Moiderface is rights, freaks out laters.”  
Skwisgaar just placed both hands on Nathan’s chest and shook his head.

Nathan crumpled a bit, knowing he could force his way past them, but knowing they were right.  
Pickles took charge, “There’s a old barn or sahmthin’ over there, let’s head fer it. Pritty open here, I don’t think any bombs are gonna land too close, no targits.”  
It seemed as good a plan as any, or at least a plan, so they headed in that direction. They needed a place to rest, to process all that had gone on and was still going on. It was all happening so fast, _too_ fast.

The barn was more of a shed, or somewhere in between, and not in good repair, but it had walls and a door that mostly closed, so it made a acceptable shelter. There was no animal smell, it seemed abandoned and out of recent use. The floor was plain dirt, but they didn’t care, they all sat down anyway.  
For a while they sat in silence, all of them trying to come to terms with the whole thing. Trying to figure out what was going on, and why. Just trying to _think_.

Murderface, with his fascination with warfare, was the first to pull the pieces together. “Firscht schtrike.”  
“Huh?” Nathan looked up, focusing. They all turned to Murderface.  
“Thisch. The bombsch. They couldn’t wait one more day, they had to get the firscht schtrike. They knew he wasch here, schomehow.”  
“BUT WE HAD IT! WE DID WHAT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO!” Had it all been for nothing?

“They says three days! Stupids shit fucks!”  
“What Toki said, dood.” Sobriety didn’t agree with him, it was hard to think.  
“They should have waited! Why didn’t they wait!”  
Murderface shrugged, “Maybe schombody was going to drop a bomb on usch schooner or later anyway.”

“So lemme git this, what yer sayin’ is that sahmbody _nuked_ us? Or everybody did?”  
“No, a lot of thosche were outgoing. It’sch probably the whole world, and even if it’sch not, it won’t matter schoon.”  
“Why ams dat, Murderface?”  
“Nuclear fallout doeschn’t recognize national bordersch. And schpeaking of fallout, it’sch going to get cold schoon.”

*****

The next morning, all was quiet. The day was overcast and smoke could still be seen rising in the distance, but it seemed the war (or whatever it had been) was over, at least where they were. It seemed cooler already, but that might just have been a coincidence.  
None of them were feeling very well, but with the battle, all the smoke, and everything they’d been though, that was no surprise. They might have puked, if they’d had anything in their stomachs.   
They’d lost so much it was hard to process it, leaving them all a bit numb.

Nathan was still determined to go down to the remains of the Haus, so they gave in and agreed to the trek. It wasn’t like they had any other plan or anything.  
Just a day ago they were on horseback, fighting for the fate of the world. It was hard to believe that had actually happened, even though they had been there. How could that have been real, and over so fast? Especially now, when they felt so ordinary and alone.  
Silently, they walked.

It took a couple hours to reach the crash site, and that’s indeed what it was. What parts that remained were charred, and most of the debris unidentifiable. It was impossible to even determine which parts had been where, there just wasn’t enough left to tell.  
There was also nothing left to bury, if they had been the burying kind. Nathan dropped to his knees.  
There was no chance anyone had survived, but they had almost certainly died instantly, if that could be taken as any comfort.

“Dey hads de most metals Viking funerals ever,” Skwisgaar murmured quietly, and the others nodded in sad agreement. It still sucked, but if they had to die, at least they got that.  
“We need to move, we need to find schome real schelter.” He put his hand on Nathan’s arm.  
Nathan slapped it away. “I’m not leaving!” He wouldn’t even look at them.  
Skwisgaar stepped up, “Nathan, dere’s not’ing dat can be does here. He ams right.”

Slowly, Nathan met his eyes. “He was only three, Skwisgaar. I swore I’d protect him!”  
“You tries you’s best.” He held out a hand, “Comes on.”  
Reluctantly, Nathan let himself be pulled up. How had it gone so wrong? This wasn’t what they’d been promised! Still not really looking at them all, he shrugged in defeat. “Fine. Somebody lead the way.”

Pickles chose to lead, or rather, he just started walking and they all followed. He thought he remembered seeing a road from where they started this morning, and roads had to lead to somewhere.  
Toki moved to walk beside him, and Skwisgaar stayed by Nathan. Murderface, deep in thought, brought up the rear.  
It took them another few hours to walk to the road, and they made the trip in silence.

The road was empty. It was just a two lane asphalt road, probably not heavily traveled in the first place.  
They were all tired, thirsty, and hungry, but there was no help for that, so they picked a direction at random and kept walking.  
The sky was still heavily overcast, but they could hear the occasional unseen plane passing nearby. That proved they weren’t the only people left. They sounded like jets, so the war, if it was a war, probably wasn’t over yet? They hadn’t seen or heard any more missiles though.

The road was turning hilly now, and walking uphill was an effort.  
They topped yet another rise and saw the car on the shoulder, its door hanging open from when the driver had apparently abandoned it in a panic and fled.   
The keys were in it! They piled in with sighs of relief, which didn’t last long when it refused to crank. The open door, the dome light, had drained the battery too low.  
Toki, in the back seat, punched the seat back with a groan. Nathan didn’t look mad though...

“Hey Pickles, get up here. You know how to do this, right?”  
“Sure thing!” Pickles took the driver’s seat.  
“Come on you guys, get out and help! We’re getting this car started!”  
Murderface climbed out with a knowing nod, but Toki and Skwisgaar were confused. The car was dead, right? How could they change that?

“De fucks ams we doesing?”  
He’d asked Nathan, but Murderface answered, “Pusch schtarting the car. We’re lucky it’s not an automatic, thisch won’t work with thosche.”  
“How’s you knows dis?”  
He shrugged. “Everybody knowsch it.”  
Well, apparently not _everybody_.

They lined up behind the car, hands on the trunk. “Ready, Pickles?”  
“Yeah, go fer it!”  
Following Nathan’s lead, they all pushed the car. It was near the top of the hill, so that made things a lot easier. This _should_ work, but there was always the chance that the battery was too dead.  
They had neared the bottom when there was a roar as the engine caught, and the car accelerated away from them. But then he stopped and waited.

Climbing back in, with Pickles still driving, they set off to find... anything that was left to find. Hopefully some food at least.  
Nathan, in the front seat, just stared out the window.  
Murderface settled against his door for a nap, if he could catch one.  
A passing sign said there was a city, or at least a town, not too far ahead. _What_ town, they didn’t know, someone had taken a shotgun to the sign at some point in the past, rendering the name unreadable. 

*****

The city, when they came to it, was still smoking in places, and still on fire in the distance. At least one of the bombs had landed here. A bomb site meant there was a higher radiation risk, but they had always been somewhat immortal, or so it seemed at times, so maybe they’d be okay? They needed the things a city offered more than the feared possible radiation exposure. They were likely already exposed anyway.  
They stopped at a department store near the outskirts, if a city this small could be said to have outskirts. Murderface had said it would get really cold, and he seemed to know more about this stuff than the rest of them, so they needed warmer clothes. Also spare clothes.

The store had been looted by someone (or multiple someones) already, but they had taken dumb shit like jewelry and electronics. The clothing was at least mostly untouched, and it wasn’t hard to find some jackets on a clearance rack. They pawed through them, looking for appropriate sizes. All except Toki, who only watched, until Skwisgaar threw one at him. “Puts on de damn jackets, Toki.”  
Toki gave him a defiant look, but obeyed. He’d been mostly silent, but as long as he didn’t go catatonic he was probably fine. Or fine enough, anyway.

It was tempting to just stay in the store, but they had no weapons and more looters would surely come. Better to move on, find a more secure (or at least more private) location. Having no weapons _sucked_ , but hopefully they’d find some somewhere else.  
Dressed warmer now, and carrying spare clothing, they headed back to the car, which started right up this time.  
“De car ams magicallies all better nows?”  
“Driving makesch the alternator... You know, never mind, I’m not explaining thisch to you.”

Nathan was driving now, heading into the city. Pickles started running through radio stations, trying to get any real news. A lot of stations seemed to be off air entirely, but they found a few still trying to report, and their staticy panic confirmed that this was indeed a global disaster.  
There were other cars now, mostly headed in the other direction, pointlessly fleeing the city. A lot of people too, though the majority seemed shell shocked and confused, just wandering around. And of course the troublemakers, running with stolen loot or breaking things just because they could.  
So far, their car was pretty much ignored by everyone.

“Where’re we goin’, Chief?”  
“Uh, I’m trying to find a house or close to stuff we can walk to. Just in case. With a fireplace, power’s out and nobody’s gonna come fix that shit.”  
“Pfft, we has a car.”  
“It’sch going to schnow, schooner or later. Thisch car doeschn’t have schnow tiresch, even if we can find more gasch we schtill won’t be able to drive it then.”

Skwisgaar frowned. “You means you can makes de car magicallies starts, but you can’ts be putting on differents tires?”  
“Of coursche I can put on tiresch! Thisch ischn’t about me not being able to do it, we’re too far schouth! Even if it wasch the right scheason, none of thesche schtoresch probably even schtock them.”  
“So maybe it won’ts snow?”  
“We can hope, but we schouldn’t count on that. This is scherious schit.”

Pickles twisted around in his seat. “Hey Murderface, ya seem to know yer stuff. Don’t they make sahm kinda anti-radiation pills we could take?”  
“Yesch and no.” He sighed, then continued, “There isch, but they only protect your thyroid and nothing elsche, and they work bescht on kidsch, and they don’t lascht very long. Even if we can find any, we’d need a lot, and we might be too old for them to even help. Beschidesch, if that’sch going to get usch, it’sch probably too late anyway.”  
“There’s symptoms, raight, if thet’s gonna happen? Do you know ‘em?”  
“I do. But better it’sch if I don’t tell you, or you’ll all schtart imagining them.”

Closer to the commercial part of town, the debris and bomb damage forced them to change directions, there would be nothing usable where a lot of buildings were still on fire.  
Circling around, the came to a less damaged side of town, and a nearby residential area.  
There seemed to be less people here, the proximity of the (local) ground zero and the multiple fires had probably driven them out. Good, as long as they left all their shit behind when they ran.

They passed several large houses that looked empty, but Nathan, thinking surprisingly rationally considering the circumstances, was looking for a single level smaller house.  
The others were silent now, letting him lead them to wherever they were going.  
There was a so much damage everywhere, was the whole world like this now?  
Had something gone wrong, or had they been lied to? Was _this_ what the prophecies had said they would bring? The end of the world?

They passed several corner stores but didn’t stop, apparently shelter came first.  
Nathan turned into a neighborhood that was now somewhat isolated, fire had claimed a lot of the houses nearby but somehow spared this street. Wind direction or something, it didn’t matter why. The remaining fires seemed to be about out, so they shouldn’t spread further, and it was probably safer to be in an area without a lot of other people.  
Near the end of the road was a brick one, and it looked empty and recently abandoned. It should do. With a grunt of approval Nathan pulled into the open garage.

They piled out, and went cautiously into the house. Just because it looked empty didn’t mean it really was, and times like these made people really trigger happy. A room by room search turned up no one though, so it was theirs.  
The kitchen had food, mostly dry or canned stuff, and a few cases of bottled water and soft drinks. There was more in the powerless fridge, they’d just have to eat that all first. Good, they could wait for things to settle a bit before they had to go scavenging.  
The backyard held a generous pile of firewood, and a medium sized storage shed that was empty except for some tools.

The house had three bedrooms, and there were five of them. Murderface, who had appointed himself the disaster expert, took charge again, “We need to drag all the mattresches out here and closche off all the roomsch, it’sch easchier to heat a schmaller area. Move thisch furniture back, we’ll make one big bed in front of the fireplace.”  
The did, pushing couches against the walls, then dragging out the mattresses and shoving them together.  
Pickles found a working radio, but there seemed nothing new to report so he turned it off, conserving the batteries.  
Skwisgaar had found porn magazines under one of the mattresses. Of course he did.

*****

Nathan was standing on the porch when he noticed a guy two houses down fiddling with some sort of device. First person they’d seen in this neighborhood, though a few houses seemed occupied, maybe he had news? “HEY!”  
The others, hearing him yell, came out to join him. The man was cautiously heading their way.  
“Wow, Dethklok! I thought that was you the other day, but I wasn’t sure. You’re staying here?”  
“Uh, yeah. Hey, is that some kind of radio or something? Does it work?”

“Satellite radio, and it’s currently useless because it seems all the satellites I can find are offline. So is cellular service, and I expect any and all remaining communication to fail soon.”  
“Dood, jest at least tell us if ya, is tha war over? Who won?”  
“It’s over, yes. And nobody, man, nobody won. You can’t win a nuclear war.” He seemed nervous, and with a small wave he turned and started back, “Well, see you around I guess.” He hadn’t even given his name, he was probably worried they’d steal his stuff.

Back inside, they finished off what had been in the fridge. They needed to start hunting for supplies soon, but they’d start with what was in this neighborhood. Maybe even find some guns?  
Skipping that guy’s house, of course. Also the one near the end where candlelight had been seen in a window, and the other that looked like somebody closed it up to hide inside. The rest were empty, or at least they were pretty sure anyway. They’d still have to be careful.  
In the morning, in teams. It was decided.

There were only fourteen houses on this street and two were partially destroyed, so excluding the ones they thought were occupied, that gave them three each. Skwisgaar and Toki, Nathan and Murderface, and Pickles had volunteered to search on his own.  
That fridge food must have been partially spoiled, because none of them felt especially well this morning, but they needed to do this anyway.  
It was colder than it had been, and although everything had stopped smoking, the sky was still dark. Smoke, clouds, did it even matter which it was?

*****

Nathan and Murderface went into their first house, the door wasn’t even locked. It looked liek someone had already picked it over, but they had to search anyway.  
“Hey Murderface? I’ve been puking, I think everyone has too but we’re all trying to hide it. Is it the radiation?”  
“It’sch juscht bad food, Nathan.” He was lying, and Nathan knew he was lying.  
“Okay. Bad food. If you say so. Let’s find better food then.” Maybe it was best not to think about it.

The first house yielded nothing useful, except some blankets they didn’t need yet, might not need, and could always come back for. The went to the next one, which was locked. Locked was a good sign, Nathan kicked the door in.  
They hesitated, just in case somebody was in there and tried to shoot them or whatever, but nothing happened so they went in. There was food! Further searching uncovered a small .32 handgun and even a couple partially empty bottles of booze, jackpot!  
Bundling everything edible or drinkable in a sheet, Nathan carried it like a very metal Santa.

The third house was a bust, but Murderface found an aluminum baseball bat in a kid’s room and took that.  
“We’re going to have to go further soon. To find stuff. If we live that long”  
“Nobody’sch dying, Nathan.”  
“We might be. I mean, it could happen. We’re getting sick already.”  
“IT WASCH BAD FOOD!” They walked back to their house.

*****

Skwisgaar and Toki were in their first house, it had been unlocked. So far they hadn’t found much, just some OTC meds. Allergies were likely the least of their worries, but they bagged them anyway.  
“I ams starting to wonders if you forgets how to talks.”  
Toki just shrugged, he hadn’t spoken in days.  
“Just says somet’ing so I knows you still cans?” This silence was a bit creepy.  
Toki sighed, then finally spoke. “What’s the points? This is probably alls my faults anyways.”  
“What ams you meaning by dat?”  
But Toki didn’t reply, just walked out, and on to the next house, with Skwisgaar following.

This house was open too, and the pantry emptied, but checking the high cabinets revealed someone’s secret stash. It was all junk food, but that was their favorite kind.  
In the garage, they found a five gallon gas can, about half full. They took that too. Murderface had said they couldn’t use the car for long, but while they could, it needed gas.  
A bag of dog food was all else that came across, and they left it, not even wanting to consider needing to resort to eating that. At least not at this point.

They dumped their stuff on their porch as they passed, heading for the final house.  
This one was locked. Toki kicked out a piece of glass and reached in and unlocked it, they entered.  
Rounding a corner, they were faced with a very sick looking man lying on the couch. He had a shotgun, and it was pointed right at them. Occupied!  
Hands up, they quickly backed out of the room and then ran. Well, they were done with their houses.

*****

Pickles was searching for drugs. And anything else they could use, of course, but he just really needed to escape reality for a while. He looked not only in the medicine cabinets, but in all the places people hid the good shit.  
What kind of neighborhood was this, where they didn’t even have booze? Not even a warm beer to be found, and nothing stronger than TUMS, who the fuck even ate those things?  
This house was a bust, aside from some boxed foods that they had no means of preparing, but he took anyway.

House number two had signs of teenagers, and he perked up. Kids were sneaky little shits.  
And indeed, he found three joints in a tin under the mattress. He lit one immediately, with an immense sigh of relief, smoking as he continued his search. He felt better already.  
In the parent’s room, he found a bottle with six Vicodin left in it, and pocketed that. Good house, _best_ house. He liked this house.  
But sadly, that seemed to be all there was to find.

At his final house, he found a couple gallons of distilled water in the garage. You could drink that, so he took them.  
Inside, using a chair to search the upper shelves of the closets, he found a pretty nice .45 revolver and a box of bullets.  
In the back of the bathroom cabinet, he found some Tylenol 3, it was a year expired but he grabbed it anyway. Free codeine, can’t complain too much about that.  
Pickles headed back home.

That night they drank all the booze, it wasn’t enough to get anybody really drunk, but it still felt damn good, familiar.  
Pickles even generously shared the Tylenol 3's, turns out it was still very effective. Most of them ended up puking, but it wasn’t possible to pinpoint a cause. Blame it on... anything but their own impending deaths.  
Still, they slept better than they had any night since this shit all went down, sprawled across their giant mattress bed, warmed by fire.

*****

They saw their neighbor again, briefly. He didn’t look so good, and hurried back inside when he saw them. Yeah, definitely afraid of them.  
If he was that sick, maybe he’d die and they could take whatever he had? But they weren’t going to kill him for it.  
They weren’t nearly that desperate, yet.  
Besides, there were three other occupied houses as well, and one of them had probably looted the empty ones they’d searched.  
They could wait.

The sun had yet to come back out, even a little bit, they hadn’t seen it since the battle.  
Dreary overcast days, some darker than others, were the new reality. Each seemed colder than the one that came before, even though it was supposed to be summer. Summer was broken now.  
Outside, softly, the threatened snow finally began to fall.


	2. Knightfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The band tries to survive, alone in this new world.  
> As you guys know/ should know, I kill people. If you thought it was just going to be Charles, sorry, you’re wrong.

Ten days ago, the world tried to end. It missed a few spots.  
The snows continued, but so far they had been mostly flurries and not much was sticking to the road. So far it was still thin enough to drive through, so they needed to go find more supplies while they could. They still had food and drinks, but actually running out first would be extra stupid. Besides, if there was anything left in the stores, if the people who were left hadn’t already taken it all, time was... Well, they probably should have gone looking sooner.

The weather hadn’t improved, it was still heavily overcast all the time. Like the kind of light you get not long before sunset, weak and gloomy, but enough to see by just fine if you’re outside.  
It was cold, colder than it had been, but so far not unbearably so since they had coats. And a fire, of course, they kept it burning all the time. Usually just one log at a time, to save wood, but with that room closed off, it didn’t take much to raise the temperature to a somewhat more comfortable level.  
Supplies they’d gathered from the neighborhood were getting low.

Murderface wasn’t feeling well. Nobody was feeling especially well, but he’d had a pretty bad nosebleed the night before that hadn’t stopped for hours, and seemed weakened by it. He wasn’t going anywhere, but he was still giving advice.  
“Firscht question: Toki, Schwischgaar, can either of you drive schtick?”  
They looked confused.  
“A car with three pedalsch on the floor? That you have to schift the gears by hand?” he helpfully added.

“Pfft, grampas car. No.”  
“Noes, I tries it befores, but it makes bad noises and then it catches on fires.”  
“Okay, Nathan and Picklesch, you’re the driversch. One of you pick one of them and go.”  
Pickles shrugged. “I’ll go first, I’ve prahbly gat tha most snow drivin’ experience. Toki, you wanna cahm?”  
“Sures?”

There were no comments or objections, so they left, taking both of the guns they’d found. The car had most of a full tank, the owner had filled it up not long before everything had happened, so gas wasn’t an issue yet.  
Pickles drove carefully, but so far the tires were able to bite through the thin snow and find enough traction. The nearest corner store they’d noticed when they arrived was gone now, it had burned to the ground. They drove on.  
Random debris made a few detours necessary, pushing them through a more residential area.

There seemed to be an excessive amount of graffiti for the end of the world. Some of it was helpful, such as ‘looters will be shot’ and more was just random. He noticed one that was probably a bible verse, but didn’t know what that might be. People tended to resort to religion when shit went all to hell. “Hey Toki, what’s thet mean?”  
But Toki didn’t answer, so Pickles just shrugged and forgot about it. Further down the street, a couple bodies lay beside the road, partially covered in snow. The “you loot we shoot” looter warnings they’d seen painted in places were probably valid then.

Finally they made it through the maze of partially blocked streets, and found a grocery store. It was damaged, one corner was pretty much gone and the doors were smashed, but otherwise seemed to have survived. Pickles parked as close to the door as possible, locked the car, and in they went with guns held ready.  
It smelled terrible, temperatures hadn’t gotten cold fast enough to prevent the cold case food from rotting, and even ventilated by the damage, it fucking _reeked_.  
They grabbed carts and got started.

It smell wasn’t just the food either, they soon discovered. There were bodies in the canned vegetable aisle, and the floor dark with dried blood. The canned goods were mostly gone anyway, those always went first. They took all was left, this wasn’t the time to be picky.  
The bread aisle was a bust, what little that remained was all moldy now.  
The cereal aisle had fared better, there wasn’t a lot but at least there was still some selection. Cereal was good, you could eat it dry and pretend it was crackers or something. Not really crackers... Okay just dry cereal, but it was fine that way.

Distracted by his shopping, Pickles froze in shock when Toki suddenly turned and pointed his gun at him. _Of all the times for him to lose his shit-_  
Toki fired, and a body fell with a thud behind him.  
Ignoring Pickles, Toki went to it, picked up the guy’s gun and checked it. “He don’ts even got any bullets! Stupids!” He tossed the empty gun down on the body and turned back to his cart like nothing had just happened, throwing in more boxes.  
“Toki, yer a liddle scary sahmtimes. But thanks fer thet.” They moved on.

Car loaded, they were a few blocks from home when five people stepped out into the road, guns raised. They clearly wanted the car, what was in it, or both.  
Toki fired on them first, dropping one and hitting another. The rest scattered back, finding some cover, and returned fire. The rear passenger window exploded.  
Pickles slid down in his seat as Toki fired across him, two shots into the bush where that shooter was hiding. He didn’t know if he hit him or not, but one on the other side broke cover and charged at them, he killed that one.

But another was coming, and the one in the bushes was still alive, emerging now. And Toki’s gun was empty.  
“Pickle, gives me you’s gun! We can’t lets them follows us back!”  
Pickles handed it over, still sitting as low as possible, practically on the floor. Could car doors stop bullets? He wasn’t sure at all. He found out all too quickly that they indeed could not, but wasn’t hit.  
Shooting back, Toki managed to drop the last two. The clip hadn’t been full to start with, and his gun was empty too now.  
They made it the rest of the way home with no more trouble.

*****

A few days later, Murderface was feeling somewhat better, and wanting them to make another run. “We need to schearch further away before the schnow’s too deep for the car. Which should be any day now.”  
“You go this time,” Nathan pointed to him. “I mean, you’re okay now? And you know about all this stuff, you might find things we wouldn’t think about.”  
Murderface couldn’t argue that point, so he just shrugged. “Fine. Hey Toki, you wanna go again?”   
“Yeah sures.”

Pickles explained the best he could where they’d already been, so they could look in new places. “An’ if ya find a liqueur store...” It was funny they hadn’t seen any before, but it would just be their luck if this was a dry city. Of course they all wanted booze, if only to forget everything for a while.  
Toki grabbed his gun and tucked it into his pants, and picked up the bat they’d found.  
“Ya fergit yer outta bullits?”  
“Noes, but nobody outs there knows that.” It was a scary gun, the threat might be enough.

They drove, the car slipping and sliding a bit, but never quite slipping completely off the road. This was probably its last trip.  
“Maybe we finds some goils too, and repopulates the worlds?”  
“I don’t think any of usch schould be reproducing after what we juscht lived through. If we even schtill can.”  
They drove in silence for a bit. There were people up ahead, but they hurried inside a building before the car got anywhere close.

“Moiderface? You gots the bomb sicks?”  
He sighed. “Yeah I thinks scho, schouldn’t really be happening thisch fascht but it fitsch. You’ve been puking too, right?”  
“Noes? Am I supposeds to be? I thinks it’s just yous.”  
“I know Nathan and Schwisgaar have been schome, not schure about Picklesch. You really haven’t? At all?”  
“I says noes.”

“Maybe... maybe you’re schpecial. You’re the one who killed him, maybe that changesch schomething.”  
“I couldn’t has dones it if you didn’ts keep him distracteds like you dids. Ands if they hadn’t wore him downs foist. I’s not special.”  
“Schit!” Murderface suddenly stopped the car, then leaned out and puked. “Guessch I’m not doing asch well asch I thought. You might have to go in the schtore alone, Toki, I’m not schure I’m up for it.” He puked again, then closed the door and drove on.

*****

Back at the house, the others were organizing what was left of their supplies. Not much food at all, except for stuff that had to be cooked, if they could ever figure out how to do that. But they were all notoriously bad at cooking, even with electricity and modern appliances, so that was a last resort. It would depend on what Murderface and Toki could find.  
They hadn’t seen any sign of their neighbors lately, maybe they’d left, or maybe they’d died of something. Or maybe they were just holed up too. It was colder now, definitely below freezing, so being outside wasn’t very fun. There were no fresh tracks in the snow, that was all they were sure of.

“Should we be worried, Nathan?”  
“In general? Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about?”  
“Ya know how in tha movies an shit, whenever they’re all lost in tha snow, sahmbody always gets eaten. And yer part cannibal.”  
“What the fuck, Pickles, NO! I’m not going to eat any of you!”  
“Ja, Pickle, what de fucks?”

Pickles threw himself back down in front of the fire, they joined him. “Well this whole things is rally fecked up! They told us all those years that we were gonna save tha world or sahmthin’, but everything’s ruined now! And I’m pritty sure Murderface knows way more than he’s tellin’ us about all thet radiation stuff.”  
“He does.” They looked at Nathan. “I mean, he admitted he knows more, when we were searching houses together. But he said he won’t tell us or we’ll like, imagine everything?”  
“I knows I woulds. But we ams okay, right? Murderface was the sicks, but he gots better, and de rest of us ams okay.”

“I don’t know! We’ve all puked some, is that bad? But not lately, at least I haven’t.”  
Pickles shrugged. “In my case, it might’ve been withdrawals, I dunno.”  
“I hasn’t lately eithers, I guess we ams okays?”  
“None of us are okay if they don’t find more food. But I’m still not eating you! And don’t any of you eat me either, because that would really suck.”

*****

Murderface spotted a relatively intact convenience store, it probably had gas but the car still had a quarter tank and was going to be useless before long, so Toki just went in and collected all the snack foods and drinks that were left. It wasn’t a huge haul, but it was decent. Sadly, no booze at all, not even a single beer.  
They finally found another standing grocery store, it didn’t look like there was anyone in it.  
“You wants me to go alones? I don’ts mind.”  
“Yeah, schorry. And take the bat.”

Murderface watched him move cautiously into the store, bat held ready, then slumped back in his seat, feeling lightheaded. Kid could take care of himself, which was more than he could personally say. He was puking blood now, that was a very bad sign. Toki hadn’t seen it, but he wouldn’t be able to hide it much longer.  
Toki, and maybe Pickles, were still asymptomatic, but there was little hope that any of them would escape in the end, not after this much exposure.  
If they were no longer seemingly immortal, then the job was done.  
Unfortunately, so was the world.

Toki came back, pushing one heaping cart and dragging another, flinging stuff into the backseat haphazardly. This was a big haul, it would last a while.  
Murderface was feeling worse. “Do you think you could drive usch back?”  
He frowned at the snow-covered road. “If I tries, we probably nots makes it.”  
“Well if we have to walk, I’m definitely not making it. Okay I’ll do my bescht then.”

On the way home by a different route, they saw the bodies. Someone had lined them up along the side of the road. Most of them had burns, open sores, and patchy hair.  
“Holy shits, ZOMBIES!”  
“They’re not zombiesch, they were juscht too closche to the bombs. That’sch what happensch.”  
“I don’ts wants to turn into zombies!”

“There’sch another schtore, run in and schee what you can find.” Murderface pulled up to the door.  
“But there’s zombies out heres!”  
“Pull your schit together! Anyone who looksch like that isch way too schick to hurt you. Thisch isch the lascht schtop we’re making, scho make it count.”  
“Fucks! Okays fine, but if I turns into a zombies I’s eating you!” He grabbed the bat and went into the store.

Car loaded with what additional little he’d found, they headed home. Murderface was fighting to make it, to at least get the supplies back to the others. He’d always read that when you improved, you might get a few weeks, but he’d always had terrible luck, worsening again after only a few hours.  
He stopped to puke again, no hiding the blood this time. “Schit! Toki, I can’t make it, you have to drive. We’re not far, I’ll give you directionsch.”  
Toki got out and came around to his side. “Oh, blood pukes, nots good.”  
Murderface slowly inched himself across the bench seat to the passenger side and Toki got behind the wheel.

Although he’d said he didn’t know how to drive stick, he knew enough to manage, only stalling once as he tried to get moving. His shifting was pretty rough, but Murderface told him when to shift and when to turn. Coming out of a turn was harder, the jerks making the car want to slide on the snowy road.  
They came way too close to going off the road, more than once.  
But every time, even when they were sure they were fucked and this was the end, the tires managed to bite in _just_ enough to stop the slide.

Somehow they actually made it home, and Murderface was looking even worse now. All the jolting probably hadn’t helped, but he’d done the best he could. Toki misjudged the distance and bumped the back wall of the garage, but they’d fucking made it.  
The others heard and came out to help unload the loot.  
“Moiderface is real sicks, gets him inside.”  
Nathan opened the car door. “I’ll get him, you guys help Toki with all this. Hey, that’s a lot of food, good job!”

It took them several trips to unload everything, and Nathan didn’t come back to help.  
They found them in front of the ever-present fire, and joined them.   
“Murderface, dood... Nathan is he..?”  
“I’m not dead yet, asscholes. But scheriouschly, when I die? Don’t burn me, don’t waschte the wood. You’ll need it.” He took a deep breath, which led to a coughing fit. Blood sprinkled the mattress. “I guessch thisch provesch we’re not invincible after all. At leascht not anymore.”

“He says he’s bomb sicks.” Toki was sitting knees to his chest, with his arms wrapped around. “He pukes blood when we’s at the stores.”  
“Thanksch, Toki, tell everybody. But I guessch it doeschn’t matter now.”  
“You’re not gonna die, Murderface!” Nathan sounded convincing, but all of them could hear the doubt under the surface.  
“Yesch I am. It’sch okay, juscht keep me company? I don’t really wanna die alone.”

“Well dis ams so cheerfuls. Don’ts be worries, Murderface, we will stays wit’ yous until de ends.”  
“He’s naught gonna die!”  
“He’s probablies going to dies.”  
“THIS SUCKS!”  
“Schtill not dead here.”

*****

Murderface died in the night, while they were sleeping. They woke up but he didn’t. They’d tried to stay awake but hadn’t wanted a scene, their presence was enough.  
Respecting his request to not be burned (at least for now), Nathan and Toki carried him out to the shed and laid him out in a funeral pose. The outdoor temperature were never above freezing now, he’d remain as he was until they came back for him, until it was time.  
Back inside, they all sat together in silence, a Murderface-shaped hole aching in them all.  
Now what, would they all die? But everybody seemed to be okay, for now at least.  
How do you mourn when the whole world has died?

No Viking funeral, no drinking, no nothing. Just numbness.   
The world didn’t care that Murderface was gone, the world didn’t care about anything anymore, it was sick and dying itself.  
Toki got up and added a new log to the fire, and they all sat staring into the flames.  
There was just nothing to say.

*****

The looters, or whatever the fuck they were, came two days later.  
None of them had left the house since Murderface’s death, just existing in a shocked silence for the most part. A heavier snowfall had rendered the car useless now, so that was no longer a priority anyway. And they had enough food to last a while.  
They weren’t group who dealt with loss well.  
Pickles was sitting on the porch, despite the cold, when a Jeep with large mud tires turned down their street. “Hey doods, we gat people!” he yelled toward the door, "They’re cahmin’!”

They started for the door to see for themsleves, but suddenly shots rang out! Nathan tackled Toki and Skwisgaar to the mattresses. “Stay down!”  
“But Pickle is outsides!” Toki was trying to squirm free.  
“I know! Fuck! Skwisgaar, hold him!”  
“I probablies cant’s?”  
“TRY!” Nathan shoved Toki over, and headed for the door.

“If they hurts Pickles, I kills them all!” Toki growled, allowing himself to be restrained for the moment.  
“Ja, and I woulds be helpings you. But stays de fucks down for nows!”  
The door was kicked open before Nathan even got to it, He grabbed the guy by his gun arm and pulled him inside, slamming him against the far wall and punching him hard. The gun dropped somewhere in the shadows.  
Toki jumped up and grabbed the next one. Unfortunately this guy was huge, and easily pinned him to the opposite wall, ready to beat the crap out of him. Skwisgaar had grabbed a chunk of firewood and bashed the guy across the head, giving Toki the advantage.

While the guy was still reeling from the blow to the skull, Toki got him down and, straddling his chest, and started erasing his face with his fists.  
Nathan’s attacker was out cold, or maybe even dead, and he seemed to be searching for the dropped gun.  
From the sound there were more outside, but no more gunfire, so maybe only one had been armed? And Pickles was still out therewith them!  
Another came through the door, took in the scene, then turned tail and ran for the waiting Jeep, Nathan instantly went after him, but slipped on the porch, losing his advantage.

Still carrying his firewood, Skwisgaar cautiously went out the door. No more attackers, just the driver and the one who was now almost to the Jeep. Pickles was lying on the porch, and there was too much blood! “NATHAN!”  
Another gunshot, and Skwisgaar hit the floor all on his own, looking up through the railing to see the guy Nathan was chasing fall.  
Toki was in the doorway, he’d found the dropped gun. He fired again, trying to hit the driver as the Jeep drove off as quickly as it was able. Might have hit him, maybe not, but either way he escaped.

Nathan came back, worried.  
Skwisgaar was on his knees, now beside Pickles. His hands hovered, wanting to do something but knowing there was nothing to be done.  
The perfect bullet hole in the forehead, at least it had been instant?  
“NOOOOO! Pickles, why were you outside! Now you’re dead, _fuck_ , now you’re dead too!”

Toki took in the scene in deadly silence. Then he went back inside, grabbed up the bat, and proceeded to smash the living fuck out of the downed guys’ skulls.   
Satisfied with his work, or maybe it was just that the skulls no longer provided enough resistance to keep pounding them, he stalked out to do the same to the one he’d shot.  
Nathan pickles up Pickles and carried him around to the shed, Skwisgaar waited on the porch.

Back, Nathan dragged out the closest body, the big one who’d jumped Toki. “Hey! Help me put him over the rail.”  
They gave him confused looks, why didn’t he just drag it down the steps? But moved to help.  
The guy was really heavy, but they draped him over the porch rail at his waist, with what was left of his head trailing down the front for all to see. Nathan dragged out the other and they did the same, then collected the one from the road leaving a long smear of blood in the snow, and added him to the macabre collection.  
At least it was cold enough they’d just freeze and not smell.

“Okays, if nobody else ams goings to asks... What de fucks?”  
“Coyotes.” He noticed their confusion was not at all resolved. “Okay, it’s a thing like ranchers or somebody does? You kill a coyote and you hang it on the fence, then all the other coyotes see it and think ‘these people will fucking kill you’ and they stay away. They do it with snakes too, but that’s stupid because snakes don’t care.”  
Toki nodded. “I gets it, does it works?”  
“With coyotes? No idea. With people? I dunno, probably.”

The went back inside. The door still worked despite the kick it had taken, but a pane in one window was broken, probably from a stray bullet. There was blood, bone fragments, and chunks of brains and faces on the floor. Was that a nose? Maybe? Nothing they hadn’t seen in the past though, in their former life, in Dethklok.  
Toki ignored it all, and sat in front of the fire, arms wrapped around his knees.  
Skwisgaar looked at him. “Shits Nathan, he ams checks out agains. I guess we gots to cleans dis up.”  
“It’s mostly on the carpet. Let’s just cut out those parts and throw them outside.”

Nathan found a utility knife in the kitchen, it seemed everyone everywhere had one of those, and cut well around the chunky parts. It was easy to drag them out. There was still blood in places, especially from when he’d drug the body all the way across the room, but it would probably just dry and be okay.  
That done, Skwisgaar patched the broken window with a magazine they hadn’t burned yet and some tape. Good enough.  
With nothing more to do for now, they sat together. Toki was clearly still unresponsive, he’d come back when he was ready.

“You puts Pickle wit’ Murderface?”  
“Yeah. Is it fucked up that I feel sort of better that they’re not alone? Out there?”  
Skwisgaar just shrugged, everything was too fucked up to even know where to start. “Dat was so fasts.”  
“Yeah. I really need to be drunk right now, everything keeps getting worse! And I don’t know how to just check out like Toki. Ian, Abigail, Charles, Murderface, Pickles... FUCK!”  
But they had no booze. 

*****

Snowfall had increased, and the color was obvious now, not bright white but slightly grey. Good thing they had plenty of stuff to drink, for now at least, because melting that snow would probably be a bad idea. Murderface would have known for sure.  
The weather had gotten progressively darker, like right before a big storm, that weird ‘almost dusk’ type lighting even in the middle of the day. Even when it wasn’t actively snowing, it really didn’t lighten up much at all.  
They’d long since gotten used to the gloom, it seemed fitting.  
This new world, what the world had become, it wasn’t a place of light.

Toki had started moving around again the following morning, but was oddly quiet and still not acting normal. He seemed to be avoiding them, or as much as you can avoid people in the same room with you. Nathan and Skwisgaar let him be.  
They were all mourning in their own ways, and nobody had much to say. There were no words that could change what had happened, so they didn’t talk much either.  
But after two days without a single word from Toki, of him refusing to even look at either if them, they intervened.

Sitting on either side of him, although he ignored them and continued to stare into the fire, they made an attempt.  
“Toki? Hey Toki?” Nathan elbowed him gently. “Talk to us?” But got no response.  
“Toki, you has to talks to us. Ams like you’s dead but still heres, and dis ams getting really creepies. What ams wrongs wit’ you?”  
So softly they could barely hear it, “All my faults.”

“Huh? Wait what how?”  
He still wasn’t looking at them. “Everything I cares about dies. Alls this that happens, we’s not like befores, you’s not safe froms me anymore. I should goes away before you both dies too!”  
“Whoa! Fuck that, you’re not going anywhere! We’ve lost too much already.”  
“Toki, don’ts you dares runs away. We needs you.”

He jumped up and began pacing back and forth between them and the fire, highlighted by the flames. “I’S FUCKING KILLING YOUS! WHY CAN’TS YOU UNDERSTANDS?!”  
“WE’RE FINE! Toki, look at us, we’re fucking fine!”  
“You’s sicks, You’s not fine! Don’ts lie to me!”  
“We’re not sick! Okay we were a little, but not anymore!”  
“Ja, we gots betters. Amns’t you, Toki, de world fucks up. Amns’t you.”

“We do need you. Remember that store we passed on the way here the first time? Not the one that, you know, you guys said is gone, but the other one? I think it’s close enough to walk to, I wanna do see if there’s anything left. I want you to come with me.”  
“What abouts Skwisgaar?”  
“Pfft, I’s fine. Gots dead porch guy protections, nobody ams goings to mess wit’ me while you ams gone. I just brings in more wood for de fires while I waits, you should goes.”  
“What he said. So, you coming?”

Toki frowned. “Car don’t work in this much snows, hows we carries what we finds?"  
“I dunno? I didn’t think that far ahead. Uh, maybe sheets?”  
“Coulds work.” He shook his head. “Still a reallies bads idea.”  
“You wanna explain what the fuck you’re talking about? Because I’m confused.”

Toki gave an agitated sigh. “What happens to the last two people I goes on runs with?”  
“Murderface was already sick! And Pickles... That had nothing to do with you!”  
“Moiderface said it all changes, when I kills that monster guy. And that’s whys he gots sick.”  
Skwisgaar stood and stepped in his way, stopping him. “Toki, listens to me.” He threw an apologetic glance at Nathan and continued, “T’inks back, what happens before we even fights him? Ja, de haus cames down, and Charles dies. _Befores._ So it amns’t you.”

Nathan nodded. “And I know you cared about them, you can’t tell me otherwise! It has NOTHING to do with you!”  
“You really wants to bets you’s life on that?” He crossed his arms, still unconvinced.  
“Yeah! What the hell, Toki, if we don’t get more supplies we’re all fucked! And we know there’s dangerous people out there, I need you to have my back!”  
Throwing his hands up and giving in, Toki sullenly complied.

They grabbed a few of the largest sheets and headed out. The yard was deep, but the winds had swept the snow around, making the street more passable. It was still almost knee deep, and slow going, but just they’d have to manage. Fortunately their boots were high enough to keep their feet mostly dry, at least for now.  
“Nathan? Sorry Skwisgaar says their names.”  
“No, it’s okay to talk about them. I mean, I miss them so fucking bad, but... this sounds really horrible, but I’m almost glad they’re not here? Going through all this?”

Toki just nodded, thinking, and they walked in silence for a bit.  
“Whats about Pickle and Moiderface, you’s glad they’s dead too?”  
“No! I mean, that’s different. Somehow? I don’t know.” He noticed some graffiti on a house they were passing, some religious thing. He pointed, “Hey Toki, do you know what that means?”  
“Yeah, I sees some in other places too. So far they’s all been abouts the devil.”  
“Huh. Well I guess Hell finally froze over then, or we were all misinformed.”

It was hard to tell exactly where the road was, occasionally they wandered too far to one side or another and slipped into the deeper ditches that lined it. That really sucked, to suddenly be floundering in waist deep snow, but there was nothing to do but climb out and keep going.  
At least they weren’t cold. They were a bit damp in places now, but the exertion had the sweating under their coats, despite the low temperatures.  
Walking back would hopefully be a little easier, the trail they’d made clearly showed where they’d veered too far off center, so they wouldn’t fall in any more ditches at least.

The store was less than a mile away, but it took them over an hour to reach it, and they were both breathing hard from the exertion. Nathan had little experience with deep snow, and Toki was long out of practice.  
But the store wasn’t empty.  
It looked empty, but when they entered through the shattered glass door, three guys jumped them. Two went for Nathan, probably because he was so big.  
Fists flew, thuds muffled by heavy clothing, but the strangers were wearing more layers and had the advantage.

“Go for the face, Toki! They’re too fucking padded!” Nathan punched one hard in the jaw, feeling something break and hoping like hell it wasn’t his hand. That one was down.  
Toki grabbed his by the ears and yanked the guy’s head down to meet his rising knee, smashing the nose. He let go and then man slid to the floor moaning, out of the fight. He turned in time to see Nathan grab the last one and smash his face into the counter.  
The fight was over, the store was theirs. 

Toki nudged the moaning one with his boot. “Should we kills them?”  
“Uh, I don’t know? I don’t think they’re going to try to follow us or anything. Besides, with the wind and snow, our trail will be gone in like a day.”  
He considered, then squatted beside his guy, the two Nathan had dropped were unconscious. “If you tries to follows us, we kills you.”  
They loaded up their sheets with everything they could, tying them to make it hold.

Fortunately damn near everything came in plastic bottles these days, so there was little risk of them breaking.  
Unfortunately, that many bottles of anything was really fucking heavy. They’d put what food was left in a separate sheet so it wouldn’t all get crushed, but that didn’t weigh a whole lot.  
Toki had noticed Nathan favoring his hand a bit. “Nathan, you’s hand okays?”  
“I think so?” He flexed it. “If not, it doesn’t matter right now. I’ll deal with it.”

They headed home. Dragging loaded sheets through the snow was so much harder than they’d expected. Instead of sliding along the surface, which really had been too much to hope for, they insisted on sinking in deep. Carrying them over a shoulder like Santa made walking easier, but was equally if not more tiring.  
Toki stopped and stripped off his coat, stuffing it in his sheet with everything else.  
“Toki, put your fucking coat back on.”  
“No, I’s hot. Besides, I’s outsides in the snows a lots as a kid without no coat, I’s fine.”

“Your fucked up childhood doesn’t excuse freezing to death.” Nathan thought about it, then shrugged and removed his own coat. The cold wind was almost blissful against his sweaty skin. “If it didn’t kill you it shouldn’t kill me. Let’s go.”  
They struggled home slowly, alternating between dragging and carrying their burdens. Hoping none of the bottles would freeze enough to break before they got there. The plastic ones should be fine, but some of the drinks were in glass. But hell, even cans blew up when you froze them, or forgot you put one in the freezer and found it three days later.

It took even longer in this direction, laden as they were.  
Their trail from earlier was already being erased by the winds, but still clear enough to guide them away from the ditches.  
Breathing hard and sweating despite the cold, struggling to keep going because even stopping to rest wasn’t an option. Just keep moving, one step at a time.  
Finally they made it home.

Skwisgaar came out, helping them drag the sheets the rest of the way up and into the house. He started untying the knots to sort their loot.  
Toki went straight back outside and threw himself down in the snow, trying to cool his over exerted body.  
Nathan settled for the couch instead, collapsing on it with a groan. “Should you make him come inside?”  
“Whats, Toki? No he ams fines. He comes in when he ams readies.” He was standing bottles along the wall, some were partially frozen but it looked like none of them had burst. “You gets a lots, good jobs.”

Toki wasn’t outside too long, and went straight to the mattresses when he came in, lying flat.  
Nathan got up and moved, rummaging through their sparse clothing supply for some dry tshirts that didn’t smell too bad yet. He stripped off his damp shirt and tossed it to the side, put on a replacement, then threw the other at Toki, landing it on his face. “At least change you shirt first.”  
Toki grumbled and sat up, obeying, then flopped back down.  
They were both soon asleep. Later when they started shivering a bit, Skwisgaar put blankets over them.

*****

They work up stiff and sore, and Nathan’s hand was a bit puffy. It fortunately didn’t seem to be broken though, as far as they could tell. Hands swelled up easy if you hit them just wrong, they all knew that.  
“I think we’re officially done with stores, unless the snow melts. That was the only one close enough to walk to and it’s empty now. Let’s hope we don’t die?”  
“We coulds melts snow?”  
“Dat ams probablies a bad ideas, Toki. Ams not even de right colors.”  
“I knows that! But we mights not has a choice, eventuallies.”

“Nobody’s drinking snow until all this is gone!” Nathan gestured at their latest haul. “But how are we doing on firewood, whoever got some last?"  
“Dat woulds be me, I gets more while you ams gone, and we ams running low.”  
Toki waved dismissively. “Alls these houses gots wood, we just takes it.” He thought about it, “Only three hads people, and I’s not seen smoke from two of them in a whiles, they’s probablies dead now?”  
“Huh, possible food them.” He noticed their horrified looks, “NO! I mean they might have had food left, we’re not eating them! Do you _really_ think I wanna eat people?”

For some reason they found this funny, and he was faced with rolling Scandinavians.   
Suddenly they weren’t the only thing rolling, and Nathan jumped up and lurched outside to puke over the porch rail. Shit, blood again. Hopefully he didn’t need another liver transplant, especially since that wasn’t an option. Leaning out, he scraped some snow over it to hide the evidence, no point worrying them.  
Behind him, the laughter was about done.  
Skwisgaar stuck his head outside, “Hey, gets back in here so we can plans dis.”

“So, radio guy was sick and that house has been dark. And that other one, where you said the dude had a shotgun? Was he sick?”  
“We didn’t really stays around to ask, but I thinks so.” Toki frowned, “That other one ats the end still has smoke sometimes, but I never sees any sign of anybody evers.”  
“They’re probably some of those crazy survivalists. Well I guess they’re not crazy, since everything really did go all to hell, but I mean they probably have all kinds of stuff stocked up and they’s why they’re still there.”  
“We ams goings to robs dem?”

“NO! No, we’re going to leave them alone, you’ve seen those movies too! As long as we see smoke, and for a while after we don’t see it anymore, we leave that house alone! I mean it!”  
They had indeed seen those kind of movies, the house was probably filled with horrible ways to die.  
Skwisgaar gathered up the sheets from the previous day, “Well what ams we waitings for? Gots two houses to be searching.”  
“Skwisgaar, are you sure you don’t want to wait here?”

“Pfft. You both ams still half deads from yesterdays, and in case you forgets, I’s from Sweden. Tries to be keepsing up now.” He walked out and headed for radio guy’s house, the closest one.  
Toki laughed, Nathan shrugged, and they followed him.  
“Yeah Nathan, we’s the experts when it comes to snows.”  
“Fuck you both, I’m from Florida. This snow sucks!”

Radio guy was dead, but there was almost no smell, so he’d outlived his fire. It was hard to tell if sickness had killed him or if he’d just frozen to death. They found his radio, but when they turned it on the power light was very weak and it didn’t seem to work. Batteries were about dead then, and they weren’t sure how to work it anyway, so they left it.  
He had food left, some water, and firewood. He’d probably gotten too sick to take care of himself. The took the food. The water was frozen of course, but looked greyish so they left it. Maybe he’d been melting snow? The wood they could come back for, since there was only one house between them.

Shotgun guy’s house was across the street.  
He was dead, his throat sliced open, but again there was little smell. Nathan checked the shotgun, but it was empty, probably had been empty even when he’d threatened with it. “Okay, search the house!”  
Skwisgaar headed upstairs, Nathan took the kitchen, and Toki just started going through stuff looking for anything useful, guns or whatever.  
Or booze, that would be really great too, better even.

There was a gagging noise from upstairs, and they both turned to see Skwisgaar come down fast. Bracing a hand against the wall he puked. “Don’ts go ups dere! Ams _horribles_.”  
“What’s up there?” Was it dangerous?  
“Crazies bastard-“ he pointed at the corpse on the couch, “kills his family. Wit’ de shotguns, dey’s everywhere. Lady an’ little kids too.”  
“Wow, that’s fucked up! Some people take the end of the world way too seriously!”

“Can we be goings home now?”  
“Uh, no. Sorry, one of us still needs to search. Up there. Here, you take the kitchen, I’ll go.”  
Toki stopped him. “I does it. Probablies nothing I hasn’t seen befores.” He noticed the way they were looking at him, so continued, “My dads... sometimes he preached too wells, and this happens. And I has to help cleans them up.” He went upstairs, and they could hear him searching.  
“Just when I thought his childhood couldn’t have been any more fucked up...”  
“Ja, no shits.”

They’d gathered all the food that looked salvageable, and were waiting on Toki.  
He came back down his sheet over his shoulder, a small bundle of something soft. “I gots shirts and somes other clothes, they’s not usings them no mores. And a surprises! I shows you when we gets back.”  
They walked home, wading through snow drifts. This was it, firewood aside, there were no more supplied within their reach, they’d just have to hope it was enough. Until...   
Well, things had to change eventually, right?

Back home and on the mattress, Toki dumped out his sheet. It seemed to be mostly tshirts and socks, and _a full, unopened bottle of whiskey._ He held it up with a grin. “Religious crazies always gots some hidden!”  
“Fuck yeah, Toki!”  
“Opens dat shits up!”  
The passed the bottle around, drinking, and for a while it almost felt like the world was okay again.

*****

The next day, Nathan was really hungover. Or at least that’s what he convinced himself of, because he didn't want to consider the other possibilities. He’d woken up before them and gone outside to piss. He’d puked blood again while he was out there, and again buried that. Running a shaky hand through his hair, too many strands came away in his fingers.  
But it hadn’t been brushed for a while, so it was probably just built up shed hairs? He was _NOT_ losing his hair, that was unacceptable! And hangovers don’t cause that.

Back inside, he lay back down and pulled up his blankets. Hangovers sucked! But so did not having more booze.  
Why did it seem colder? Maybe he had a fever? _No_ , because hangovers don’t cause that. He got back up and threw another log on the fire.  
Just a hangover, that’s all it was. And it was just cold in here. And...  
He was really tired, so he went back to sleep.

Toki woke up when Skwisgaar tripped on his arm. “Owie.”  
“Pfft, ams dark in heres. Why you has to be sleeping all sprawls out anyways?” Skwisgaar briefly visited the back porch, then returned to sit beside Toki, who was now sitting up.  
“Skwisgaar? Does Nathan looks okays to you?”  
Skwisgaar studied him as well as possible in the poor light. “I t’ink he ams sweating somes? Dat amns’t probablies nots good.”  
“Well, fucks.”

Nathan was still sleeping, oblivious to them. They moved back to the couch so they wouldn’t wake him.  
“What does we do, Toki? If he gots de sicks?”  
Toki shrugged. “If there was a cures, Moiderface woulds have tolds us. I don’ts think was can do anythings.”  
“Maybe he ams not dat kind of sick, maybe he can gets bedder?” But he didn’t even sound like he believed that.  
“Yeah maybes.” They sat sadly, not knowing what to do.

The wood pile in the corner was getting low, and there wasn’t much left outside. That was something they could do! Doing something was better than sitting around feeling helpless. “Hey Toki, let’s be gettings more woods, ja?”  
Toki nodded and stood, “Okays.”  
They gathered up their trusty bed sheets (a very shitty way to transport stuff through the snow, but all they had) and headed out, leaving Nathan still sleeping.

Radio guy was still dead, no surprise there. He’d piled a lot of his wood indoors, so they just started with that. Wood was heavy, but the house was close, so they made a couple trips, trudging back and forth in silence. They tossed their coats after the first trip and kept working, the trail they’d worn through the snow made walking much easier.  
Indoor wood supply finally depleted, Toki checked around the best he could outside for more wood. With this much snow cover, that mostly involved blundering around blindly hoping to run into it. Finally he found some, piled right by the back door. He dug it out and started tossing it up to Skwisgaar, who dumped it inside to dry. They’d collect it later on.

Back home, Nathan was finally awake, though still lying down. They dumped their final loads of wood in the corner and went to sit beside him.  
“How come you guys aren’t hungover too?”  
Toki was just studying him silently.  
Skwisgaar shrugged, “No ideas. I feels a little bits bad when I first wakes up, but I am fines now.”

“It’s just a hangover!” He didn’t like the way Toki was looking at him. “And I’m just tired, I did a lot lately! And I’m not used to all this snow.”  
“Whatevers you says, you jus’ be restsing den.”  
“And I’m _definitely_ not losing my hair! I mean, if you thought that.” There were some hairs on his pillow.  
“Why woulds I be t’inkings dat?” Skwisgaar touched his own hair in a concerned manner.

Toki had turned to stare into the fire instead, still silent, seemingly zoned out again.  
“Why am I so cold? Hey Skwisgaar, what if I have what Murderface had?”  
“He was pukings a lots t’ough.” He noticed Nathan’s guilty expression. “Shits, you’s been pukings and you’s not says anyt’ing? What de fucks?”  
“I don’t want to die, okay? And I really don’t want to go bald or something either!”

Toki didn’t even turn his head. “You’s not going balds.”  
“How can you be sure of that?”  
“You won’ts live longs enough. You should have lets me leave when I wanteds to, maybe you be okays if you had. Too lates now.” Still not looking at them, he got up and went outside.  
Skwisgaar exchanged a look with Nathan, then went after him.

On the back porch, Toki hadn’t tried to leave after all. Or at least not yet. Or maybe he just didn’t know where to go. “I never thoughts Nathan woulds get bads sick, he’s so strongs.”  
“I knows, Toki.”  
“It reallies am my faults. Somehows. Moiderface was rights.”  
Skwisgaar shrugged in reply, too late now. “Comes back insides, ams cold outs here.”

Back inside, they found Nathan sitting up and seemingly studying his arms. “Hey, do I look green to you?”  
“No? Why de fucks woulds you be greens?” They both sat back down beside him.  
“Those bombs, those were nukes. Nukes are radiation. Radiation gives you superpowers, or like, makes you into the Hulk, right?”  
“Pfft.”  
“It could happen! What would my super hero name be?”

“Captain Bloodpukes.” Toki sighed, “Sorry I says you’s dying, Nathan.”  
“It’s okay Toki, you’re probably right? I mean, I’d already thought that, I just want to pretend. And that’s a pretty good name.” Nathan started to get up, then changed his mind, laying back flat with a pained groan. “Is there any Gatorade left? I’m pretty sure I can’t eat.”   
Skwisgaar jumped up to get him one, and he accepted it gratefully.

*****

Captain Bloodpuke was living up to his name. He’d had a few nosebleeds as well, each lasting longer than the one before it.  
His bruised hand, that he’s injured in the convenience store run, had bruised very dark red and was still swollen, he’d lost the ability to heal. He had other random bruises and spots too, he was starting to look a bit like those dead “zombie” people Toki had seen.  
And he still had a constant fever, which was something they could have treated, but they didn’t even have any aspirin or anything, no drugs at all.

They all now knew Nathan was dying, and nothing could change that. It was a deathwatch now.  
He was still holding on though, so far, but they knew he couldn’t last much longer, not like this. And his hair _was_ falling out, but not in patches or anything, so it wasn’t super obvious. If it wasn’t for the excessive loose hairs around where he lay, they probably wouldn’t have even noticed.  
He hadn’t eaten for days and was getting thin.  
It was a countdown clock that none of them could see, but they could all hear it ticking. They gave him whatever liquids he asked for (if they still had that kind) and emptied his puke bucket as needed.

“Hey,” Nathan weakly called them over to him.  
They sat beside him. “You okays? Needs anythings?”  
“No, I’m done. I can feel it. But maybe I’ll see all them again? Abigail and Ian, Pickles and Murderface? And Charles? I always thought that was really stupid, when people said shit like that.” He coughed, and wiped blood off his mouth, his breathing uneven.  
“Don’ts be tryings to talk so much.” 

“Doesn’t... matter now. Just sit with me? And Toki? Put... put me in the shed, okay? Even if-“ he coughed again, hard, and they didn’t think he was going to be able to continue, but he did, “Even if there’s... nothing, you know, after this... then at least I’d have them? God I sound so lame.”  
“I promises.”   
“You guys... take care of each other. For me.”  
“Ja, we wills.”

Nathan didn’t speak again. They sat beside him, moving only to stoke the fire or other necessities, and waited.  
He seemed to be asleep, but it was probably a coma or something? It looked peaceful anyway, that was good. His breathing had worsened, and there were pauses when he didn’t seem to take a breath at all, but then he’d start again. So far.  
They waited, as those pauses grew longer and more frequent.  
They waited, because there was nothing else they could do.

Eventually, sometime in what was probably early the next morning, he didn’t take another breath. They waited some more, just in case, but it was over, Nathan was dead.  
Toki insisted on carrying him by himself, Nathan was big but had lost a lot of weight. Skwisgaar got the doors for him. They laid him out in the shed, next to Pickles and Murderface, and closed the door to keep the snow out.  
Back inside, silent.  
Now it was just the two of them.

*****

Only four days later, Skwisgaar got sick.   
He’d woken up that morning feeling like he’d been trampled by stampeding fans. He didn’t even bother trying to hide it, Toki wasn’t that stupid. And he wasn’t as strong as Nathan, he probably wouldn’t last as long.  
Toki was unhappy with this development. “I COMMANDS YOU TO STOPS BEINGS SICK!”  
“It don’t works dat way, Toki. Ams a goods try t’ough.”

“Skwisgaar? I’s been thinking.”  
“Well don’ts be hurtsing youself.” He chuckled at Toki’s glare. “You knows I ams kiddings. Tells me?”  
“Whats if... whats if the only reasons I’s drawn to Dethklok is to kills you all? Because I’s evil or somethings? And everything I ever cares about dies, even when I tries not to cares.”  
“Well if it ams fates, den dere’s not’ing you can does.”

“Maybes there is. Maybe I can saves you, I think I knows how.”  
“What de fucks you talkings about?”  
But Toki ignored the question, now staring into the fire.  
“I knows you’s still dere, I can tell de difference. Fine don’ts be talkings to me, jus’ don’ts leaves me.”

Skwisgaar continued to deteriorate throughout the day. Going on what little experience they had with this, he probably wouldn’t last more than a few more days at the very most.  
Toki mostly sat beside him, silent and thinking, and tending to him as needed. So far, he hadn’t been sick at all himself, but that made some sort of sense if he was the reason everyone and everything was dying. Or maybe some people just didn’t get sick? There was no way to know for sure.  
Or maybe he’d get sick next, after he’d watched them all die before him.

That night, while Skwisgaar slept, Toki quietly gathered some supplies in a sheet. Maybe, just _maybe_ , if he put some distance between them, Skwisgaar would recover, would live? There was nothing to lose at this point, he had to try it. Outside, the wind was blowing pretty hard, it would erase his trail by the time there was enough light to see it.  
He built up the fire, and placed more wood close by to make it easier for Skwisgaar to tend it, and put bottled drinks in easy reach. Also some food, though Skwisgaar, like Nathan, wasn’t eating.  
Having done all he could, Toki grabbed his sheet and slipped out the door and away.

He didn’t go far, just to the house at the other end of the street, on the same side where he could build a fire and the smoke probably wouldn’t be obvious from their house with the taller houses between them.  
He closed off the room with the fireplace as well as the layout allowed, then searched for wood. He’d remembered correctly, this house had a covered back porch, with the wood piled under it. Snow had blown in, but it wasn’t buried and some was dry enough to burn without waiting. He got a fire started, and brought more in to dry.  
Three days, he’d go back in three days _and Skwisgaar would be all better._

Toki was incredibly bored waiting.   
Also anxious, because although he’d picked this house so his smoke couldn’t easily be seen, he hadn’t thought about not being able to see Skwisgaar’s either. Between the poor light, the near constant snowfall, and the two story house right beside him, he couldn’t see at all.  
And he didn’t want to walk out into the street to look, he was pretending he was long gone. And he couldn’t go back to check, or that would defeat the whole purpose.  
So he waited, and slept a lot to pass the time.

*****

Three days later, it was time.  
Skwisgaar was going to be so mad at him for leaving! But at least he’d believe him now.  
Toki knew he couldn’t stay, he planned to just check in and then leave for good, or Skwisgaar would just get sick again. This was just how it had to be.  
Leaving what meager supplies he had left, Toki headed home for the last time.

When he got where he could see, there was no smoke! Why was the fire out?!  
Wading through the deep snow, he plowed his way down the street as fast as he was able.  
Maybe Skwisgaar had decided to leave too? Toki hurried into the house, he had to know for sure.  
“Skwisgaar! You’s here?” He pushed the door open, entering the dark, cold room. He hadn’t realized how much light the fire provided. “Skwisgaar?”

Skwisgaar was there.  
Skwisgaar was dead.  
He’d died, cold and alone.  
It was all Toki’s fault.

“Oh fucks, _oh fucks Skwisgaar_ , I’S SO SORRY! I tries to saves you!” Toki collapsed beside the frozen body.  
He couldn’t save anyone, and now there was no one left to save.  
He wasn’t staying here now, he hadn’t planned to stay anyway. But he had something to do first, something that _needed_ to be done.  
Viking funerals, they deserved no less.

Going out back to the shed, not even bothering to close the back door, one at a time Toki dragged them back into the house, lying them on the mattresses. They _almost_ looked asleep.  
The gas can he’d found was still in the shed, he brought that in too. He piled the firewood around them, piled the extra clothes and whatever else seemed flammable around them, and splashed the gasoline over it all. It was all he could do for them now.  
Lighting the pile, Toki walked out the door for the last time.

He retreated as far as the neighboring porch and sat there, almost scorched by the intense heat as the house burned. It wasn’t a boat or a pyre, but it was doing the job nicely.  
Eventually the roof collapsed, and flames rushed to consume it.  
Slowly, over hours, everything faded to embers.  
Toki sat, unmoving, until the last of the embers died. His band was gone, truly gone now.

Far too late, he realized he hadn’t taken any supplies from the house before he burned it. Too late now, he’d just have to go without.  
Did it even matter anymore, if he lived or died? _Could_ he even die? He wasn’t sure anymore.  
He had nothing now, literally nothing but the clothes on his back.  
Stiff from sitting in one position for so long, Toki got up and started walking.


	3. Red Sky in Mourning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post apocalyptic future where I break what little reality we may have had left. And multiple laws of science. I hope none of you like solid answers, because shit goes all weird here.  
> Once upon a time, this chapter was going to be the entire fic, hence the title. (Over a year ago, the first time I wrote it.)

Toki walked all through the night, angling out of the city, with no destination at all.  
He was thirsty, but what few stores he’d passed had been emptied, and he didn’t want to try to melt and drink the dingy snow. At least not yet, anyway.  
He just trudged on, with nothing but the clothes on his back. The coat was too warm, with all his struggling through the snow, but he kept it on.  
He was very tired, but there was nowhere to stop and sleep, he’d left the still-standing buildings behind.

Morning dawned, actually _dawned._   
As the sky lightened, _the sun_ finally broke through for the first time since the bombs had flown. The dirty snow glittered and looked almost clean under its light.  
Despite everything, Toki was so happy to see the sun after all this time. He basked in the glow, soaking up the weak warmth it offered. He only wished that at least Skwisgaar could have seen it too.  
The sun shone all day, although weakly at times, and then set in a normal manner.

The sun never rose again, not really.  
Well It _rose,_ but it hovered near the horizon, never climbing any higher. The clouds filtered the light into an odd red-tinted glow, and when they briefly parted, the light was still the dull red of early sunrise.  
Time surely passed but the day seemingly did not, the sun, when its location could be marked through the shifting clouds, never moving from its low eastern position.  
Surely the day passed, but still no change.

Toki wondered just how far his effect, his curse ranged, he’s missed the sun, had been so happy to see the sun again. And now there was no more sun? And no more day and night, even? Was this also his fault?  
Probably, everything else seemed to be. Or might as well be.  
There wasn’t really anyone else left to blame.  
Under the strange new persisting red sky, Toki could only walk on.

He was beyond tired now, he’d had no sleep in days, no food or drink either. And walking through snow wasn’t easy at all. He just wanted to _sleep_ , preferably forever.  
But there was still no shelter in sight.  
Sleeping in the snow was how you died, he knew that well. But it was hard to even care anymore, he was just _so tired._ It was hard to think clearly.  
But maybe that would be for the best? If he did die?

Or maybe he was dead already, because nothing made sense anymore. Maybe he’d died way back in the initial battle against Selatcia, as he should have? Maybe everything since had been actual literal hell? His parents had always said he’d go to hell.  
What was real? This world, this sun, it couldn’t be real. The sun couldn’t just _stop_ moving. Could it?  
But it felt very real, all of it had.   
He’d just have to assume it was all real, unless he found a way to prove otherwise.

But maybe this world, _if_ it was real, what was left of it, could survive if he were gone?  
He’d lost everything already, and his continued existence only mocked him. For the world, for what little remained, for the sun, he should let the snow try to take him? It made sense.  
Toki stripped off his coat and sprawled out on his back under the ever-falling snow. He was very cold now, but that would end.  
And he would end?

*****

He woke up in a house with no memory of how he could have gotten there.  
Okay, _house_ was a bit too generous, it was more of a shack from what he could make out. People’s things, and toys. A family was living here?  
And he was alive. Probably. Unless he was already dead in the first place.  
He needed to leave now, because... His thoughts were fuzzy and it was hard to think, and he was still so tired, too tired to even sit up.  
Despite his intentions, Toki fell back asleep in front of the fire.

*****

When Toki finally fully woke, he was still in that house.   
Sitting up, he looked around. Sparse furniture. Supplies stacked along one wall, firewood along the opposite. Random toys on the floor. A closed door that probably led to the rest of the house. A man, woman, and the girl who looked about eight or so, sitting at a table behind him.  
The man spoke, “You slept a long time, we weren’t sure you were going to wake up. Do you remember what happened?”  
Toki shook his head.  
“I found you in the snow when I was gathering wood, almost stepped on you. I thought you were dead at first.”

Hopefully they didn’t recognize him, they didn’t really look like metal fans. It would be easier that way.  
“I gots to go.” He was trying to not even make eye contact, anything that might help.  
“You almost died, you need to recover. Why were you alone, without even a coat? Where did you come from?”  
So his coat had been completely buried in the snow by the time he was found, how was he still alive? “I don’ts know, I just walks.”  
“We know who you are. How long were you out there? And where are the others?”  
Shit, they did recognize him. “I don’ts know.” With the sun in stasis, it was impossible keep track of time. “And they’s... all deads.”

The girl came over to peer at him, Toki tried not to look at her. He thought about what Nathan had said, about how he was glad Ian wasn’t living through this. This girl was. She seemed okay so far though, maybe wherever they were was far enough away from the bombs that she’d be alright?  
He couldn’t count on that. Or anything else really.  
She reached out to touch his hair, but then, at a small sound from her mother, pulled back and returned to her seat.  
Toki briefly glanced their way.

The woman, who still hadn’t actually spoken, got up and brought him a bottle of water from their pile. Too thirsty to refuse, Toki drank it gratefully.  
“We heard all about it before the broadcasts stopped,” the man continued. “About how Dethklok was going to stop all the killings.”  
Yeah, that all worked out so well. Toki just shrugged.  
“We’re honored to have you here with us.”  
He shrugged again.

Toki accepted more offered water, and drank it. And fell back asleep, the last however many days had drained him in every way.  
When he woke again maybe only hours later, the girl, who hadn’t even looked sick, was dead.  
So fast?! It _had_ to be his fault, his presence. Somehow, it really had to be.  
Staggering to his feet, taking nothing, Toki stumbled out the door and kept going, trying to get far away. They didn’t call after him, maybe they knew.  
He walked toward the light of the mostly hidden sun, if only to prevent himself from accidently wandering in circles.

*****

It was cold, but he’d been far colder as a child. He wasn’t wearing much more than he had then, just jeans and a tshirt, but it wasn’t the painful cold he remembered. His shirt had a tear near the hem that he didn’t remember getting.  
He still didn’t know if this was all actually real. It didn’t seem to matter much, it was real to him. No matter how, he was experiencing these things, living through them.  
Under the unchanging red sky, he was alone.  
And he couldn’t stop his thoughts.

His parents, they’d tried to beat every shred of love or affection out of him. They’d punished him for caring.  
They must have known, even back then, what he was.  
What was he?  
Maybe he was as bad as he’d been told, back then? They’d treated him as something unholy.  
Religious fallacy, or painful truth?

If the curse was true, and it certainly seemed to be, they had been correct. He was a danger to everyone he came in contact with.  
What if... _what if he was actually the devil?_ He really didn’t feel like he was, or how he possibly could be. But if he _might_ be, then maybe he could change things? It was worth a try.  
“I COMMANDS THE SUN TO BE NORMALS!” Toki yelled up at the defective sky.  
But nothing changed as he waited, not very expectantly. Well that didn’t work. 

Why had things been different in Dethklok? Or had they been?  
Of course there had still been deaths, but they might not actually be his fault. Charles died, but he got better. His dad died, but he had cancer, and Toki didn’t really like him anyway. His cat died, but it had a cough, so it had been sick when he got it. Klokateers died, but they always did that.  
But until now, his bandmates had been perfectly fine, despite many situations where they _all_ should have died.

He realized he didn’t know much at all about how they’d been before him, hell he hadn’t even recognized Magnus at that camp. He’d heard some of their songs of course, but he didn’t really know anything much about the band itself, other than that they were hiring. Maybe all the deaths didn’t start until he joined?   
But the gears had a really dangerous job! And concerts were brutal.  
So those couldn’t really be his fault either, could they? It’s not like he even cared about them.  
Besides, people died at concerts all the time, their death toll might be higher than average but it wasn’t exceptional.

Maybe though, maybe his bandmates themselves had balanced him somehow.  
They’d all shared some kind of power, the biggest thing had been that time when they rescued him, under the Doomstar, but there’d been other lesser incidents. He’d seen red light in their eyes at times, there had been no mirror handy but he had to assume his own were the same.  
But if they all shared this power, why did they die?

Maybe Murderface was right, when he’d suggested that killing Selatcia had changed things for Toki?  
The others seemed to have lost their own strange protection then. He wasn’t sure about Pickles, he hadn’t been sick when he was killed, but the part where he _could_ be killed probably counted.  
Why was he special? There was no reason he should be, no reason he deserved to be.  
Nothing made any sense anymore.

*****

As he walked he saw more lights in places, places where there were people. He avoid them all.   
He hadn’t eaten since he’d left his watch house, since before finding Skwisgaar’s corpse and burning his band, giving then a funeral, but he wasn’t hungry anymore.  
What could that be proof of?  
He hadn’t slept since he left that family, but time was broken now, with the sun, so maybe that didn’t matter. He was tired, but he could keep walking.

He was still thirsty though. He’d carried his last empty water bottle with him from that house, and had refilled it with dirty snow. Stuffing it dowh the front of his pants was very uncomfortable, but did eventually provide enough heat to melt the snow. Even though drinking this seemed like a bad idea, he did it anyway, then refilled the bottle.  
Death was welcome to come for him, if it could.  
Or maybe he was death itself? He didn’t want to kill anyone though, so that didn’t seem to fit.  
But already dead and in hell, the devil, death, or immortal? All seemed equally possible, but they were all pretty shitty choices.

*****

There were a lot of animal corpses, all kinds. Scattered all over the damn place, anywhere the snow hadn’t completely hidden them yet. How many more were under the snow? But tracks too, so they weren’t _all_ dead. Yet.  
The snows seemed to be lessening, no more had fallen in what might be days. Soon there could be some bare ground again.  
Didn’t matter much, what could ever grow under this fucked up sun?  
He saw more dead rabbits than anything, why so many rabbits? Maybe there were just a lot of them around... wherever he was.

Or maybe because rabbits were for some reason associated with him. Nobody would ever tell him what he’d looked like to them, when they were all on yopo, besides “sort of a rabbit.” Rabbits weren’t even metal, but they acted like it was bad.  
He remembered them all, Skwisgaar’s wings had been a little creepy but mostly they just looked like animals.   
The tribe had mostly cleared out after dosing them, but the few he’d seen had seemed afraid of him.  
It didn’t even matter, they were all just high anyway, why was he thinking about this old crap?  
Toki knew why, because he fucking _missed_ them all so much.

There was a spot of color ahead, Toki veered toward it. Something discarded, or something actually growing? _Could_ anything still grow? The snows had receded in spots here and there, it might be possible?  
It was flowers! Toki had never expected he’d be excited about flowers, but hey things change. Yellow, a patch of them, some sticking out of the snow and a few in the open, green leaves around them.  
He reached out to touch one but thought better of it, did his curse extend to plants?  
If it extended to the fucking _sun_ , then yes, definitely.

But even as he backed away, they withered and died before his eyes. Fuck!  
How did it even work, was everything he saw in danger?! If he could figure it out, maybe he could alter it?  
He hadn’t touched the flowers. He hadn’t touched that girl either, but she might have touched him when he’d been asleep. But he hadn’t touched the flowers for sure. So touch wasn’t necessary?  
The dad had touched him, and hadn’t died!   
Or had he, later? Maybe they were all dead now? There was no way to know.

Was there a way to turn it on himself?  
Maybe if he found a mirror, he could look at himself and end it all. Probably wouldn’t work that way though.  
Or maybe if he could learn to love himself? Toki laughed bitterly at the thought, like that was ever going to happen.  
He emptied his water bottle, drinking the last of it, then tossed it aside, no more water. No more anything.  
He continued his seemingly endless trek in the general direction of the low sun.

*****

It had been.... who even fucking knew anymore, probably a couple days worth of time, probably a week at the very most.  
Not drinking water had made zero difference, and he’d soon stopped even being thirsty.   
It was snowing again, heavily at times, but that was good. Less visibility meant less things he could accidently see.  
He tripped on something buried, and faceplanted in the snow. Probably a log, or the corpse of something, or someone.  
Pushing himself up and backing out of the hole he’d made, Toki found himself kneeling on the corpse of a man. This wasn’t the first time this sort of thing had happened, there were a lot of dead under the snow, but he felt something hard on the face under his hand.

Curious enough to brush the snow aside (he was no threat to the already dead, after all) Toki discovered the man was wearing some sort of goggles. They looked cloudy and scratched, they looked hard to see through. They looked _perfect_.   
He pulled them off and examined them. He vaguely remembered seeing this kind on tv, people who did metal stuff. The other kind of metal stuff, with fire, not the music kind. The dark parts could be flipped up, and there was clear under them. It was the dark parts that were scratched up.

Toki put them on, they were really dark! In the weak everlight, with the damage on them, his vision was significantly reduced. Good, now maybe stuff around him stood a fair chance.  
It was hard to even see where he was going now, but he gave no fucks about his own safety. If anything left could kill him, it was more than welcome to do so.  
He would flip the dark lenses up, just for a second, often enough to check for distant structures he needed to avoid. Even if he couldn’t see clearly, he didn’t dare be around people.  
If there were any people left anymore.

Maybe he was the only living thing left in the whole world? He saw animal tracks at times, but saw no living animals.  
If he was even still actually alive, he’d never worked that one out. Still felt alive though.  
This isolated endless trek made him feel more alone than ever, but what choice did he have?  
Being all alone sucked!

*****

“Moiderface, remembers when we makes that records company, and those guys just spends all the monies on heroin? That was pretty funnies.”  
“I know I fucks up the contracts, you don’t has to reminds me!”  
“Of course I didn’ts helps you clean up the pukes, that’s gross.”  
“I wonder what ever happeds to those guys?”

“Ha, remember when you runs for presidents, or whatevers?”  
“I was a real good helpers! Why’s you got all those pictures of you jackings off anyway?”  
“I still don’ts know why you wanteds me to use those ones.”  
“No, you tolds me to use that folders!”

“Remember how you wouldn’ts eat the hotdogs?”  
“We weren’t callings you gays!”  
“Don’ts know why you was so worrieds, we really wouldn’ts have cares if you likes guys.”  
“I _know_ you’s not gay! That’s nots what I meant.”

“Remembers how we gots so much from the store!”  
“You coulds have tolds me lots more useful stuffs, abouts the bomb sicks.”  
“I don’ts want to talks about you pukings.”  
“I don’ts want to thinks about that parts! That the bads part!”

Toki was aware that Murderface wasn’t actually there, but he wanted to at least pretend he could still talk to them all. Anything was better than this crushing aloneness and isolation.  
His band were his imaginary friends now?  
It was better than nothing, and they were already dead, so....  
But not _too_ often, or he might run out of things to talk about.

*****

Pickles was harder, he was probably the one he’d spent the least amount of time alone with.  
“What ever happens to that lockets you has after Charles dies the first time?”  
“I know carings makes you gays, but there’s nobody left to cares.”  
“I wish I hads pictures of alls of you, can’ts hurts you now.”

“This would be a lots easier if I has you's drugs, Pickle.”  
“I kills that guy who shoots you. I wants you to knows that. I smashes his heads in until nothings left but bloods.”  
“You mights not have evens been sicks! Why’s you gots to go and gets shots?!”  
“I misses you all.”

A city had required a lengthy detour, he didn’t dare get close. Just in case there was anyone left.   
Was there smoke? He couldn’t tell through his goggles, and didn’t dare risk lifting them. A glance might be enough, better not to try.  
Looking behind him, there was a blue light in the western sky. The moon? Or had the Doomstar returned for him?  
Dull red in front, faint blue behind, but mostly both obscured by heavy grey clouds.

Toki felt he should talk to Charles too, or Abigail. But the words wouldn’t come when he tried.  
He could imagine them, walking there beside him, could see them almost as clearly as if they were real.  
Never Ian though, he couldn’t bring himself to even imagine that sweet little boy in this world, even if it wasn’t for real.   
He thought about them all though, a lot, remembering their times together.

Charles, they hadn’t been especially close, and he’d mourned him after his first death, so it was hard to process that again. He was such a robot most of the time, when he’d lived with them!  
Abigail though, they had been close, too close. They’d had only each other during their imprisonment. Her singing had kept him from completely losing his mind. He loved her like the sister he’d never had, which was of course why she was dead now. And why he couldn’t talk to her, not even to apologize.

He’d been happy for her, when Nathan admitted his feelings.   
She was so strong, so special. She didn’t deserve the ending she got. It wasn’t fair!   
And _Ian_ , he’d loved that kid, they all had. Of course, for the rest of them, this presented no problems.  
Too much guilt wrapped up in them, stealing all his words unsaid.

*****

“Nathan, I really hates it that you hamburger times. See I’s calling it that just for you!”  
“You was fine when we wents to the stores”  
“Hamburger times... Damn thats was some goods drugs we gots that day! I remembers all kinds of crazies, maybe it really happens, fucks if I knows.”  
“Yeah, Pickle always gots the best stuff.”

“Yeah, Charles was my cat! And so was I? Somehows? Pickle’s hairs was like tentacle and he hads no body! And thens Skwisgaar and Pickle was runnings on hamburgers! Oh yeah, Moiderface too! They was all singing about how he jacks off on a doctors.”  
“What do you means you don’t remembers that?”  
“No, you was just wearings some mask thing? I don’ts know!”  
“Okay we can talks about somethings else.”

“Remember when you and Pickle gives me datings advice?”  
“Ha, you tells me to listen to my dick! Or was that Pickle? I forgets now.”  
“Oh rights, that was Pickle, you tells me to nots get in a room I can’ts get outs of!”  
“I gots out!”  
“I _knows_ you didn’ts mean to jumps out the window! But that’s alls there was! And I was fines.”

“How comes I’s not deads too? Do you knows? Was there anythings weird when I joins?”  
“I knows you can’ts really answers because you’s dead. I knows!”  
“I still wants to know though.”  
“You left it completelies up to Skwisgaar?”

Toki changed the subject, in his head. “I think I’s wearings you’s shirt.”  
“Well it _might_ be!”  
“Too bigs for me anyways, but yeah I remembers you steals some mores from shotguns guy.”  
“I’s going to pretends it’s you’s fucking shirt, okays?” Imaginary Nathan seemed cool with that.

All in his head or not, they still felt more real to him than anything since their passings.  
He still knew wasn’t _actually_ seeing them, but in his mind he was, they were there. Because he wanted them to be. Because he fucking _missed_ them.  
They walked with him, usually just one at a time but he was never alone.  
He would have traded it all for a real one, any of them, if such a trade wouldn’t damn them to sharing this existence of his.

*****

“Skwisgaar, I’s so sorries I leaves you! I’S SO SORRIES!”  
“Of course it’s my faults!”  
“Okay maybe you dies anyways, but you dies bad because I leaves you there alones!”  
“Maybe if I had wents farther aways, if I just lefts then, maybe it woulds has been differents?”

“Okay we won’ts talks abouts that! I don’ts really wants to anyways.”  
“Yeah, you gots a million billion kids, I’s sure some of thems still alives somewhere.”  
“Whats if everybody left is all you’s kids? Then they’s goings to has to breeds with each others, that’s fucks up.”  
“Now I don’ts want to talks about this.”

Toki changed the subject, “Remembers when I tries out?”  
“Yeah! And thens it gots all weirds, we was still playings but we turns into other stuffs! It seemeds like that anyways?”  
“You said I mades you better than evers.”  
“You’s the one who hires me.”

“Nathan remindeds me! Nathan and Pickle says too bads, bye, but you stops me.”  
“Yes you dids!”  
“No, you was outsides smoking afters, and you says you wants me in the bands.”  
“YES YOU DIDS! Fine, whatevers!”

“Why’s you such a dick to me? What’d I evers does to yous?”  
“You always re-records my parts! I’s not that bads, I second fastest in the whole worlds!”  
“You never lets me sleep on you’s bed.”  
“I know there’s no rooms! Always too many sluts for ol’ Tok to fit.”

“But you holds me up, when you saves us. Me and Abigail.”  
“No, he never fucks either one of us! I _tolds you_ Magnus wasn’ts as bad as that other guys.”  
“It’s always abouts the sexes with yous. No, nobody fucks us!”  
“Fucks you remembers!”

“Sorries, sorries. Don’t leave me here!”  
“I knows I left you alones! Skwisgaar, I can’ts makes it up to yous. I thoughts I was doing the rights thing?”  
“I WAS TRYINGS TO SAVES YOU!”  
“No shits it didn’ts work, takk for remindings me. _Again._ ”

“Skwisgaar, I thinks it might be back? The Doomstars?”  
“No, back there, that blue lights?”  
“I don’ts know! I never sees it until the ends, you’s the ones who came from outsides!”  
“I only remembers the lights.”

*****

Immeasurable time passed. Probably not a lot, but he couldn’t even guess anymore.  
Snows were finally receeding, but the sun remained where it had been for a long time now, too long. Very little grew, anywhere. Large patches of exposed ground tended to be a dustbowl wasteland, far more often that not.  
Toki still walked, still wore his goggles. He'd switched directions now though, after reaching the sea and being unable to continue his eastward path. Flipping up his dark lenses, he looked out over the ocean, but quickly looked away in fear of dooming the sealife.  
With a hopeless shrug, he didn’t know what else to do, he turned and wandered back the way he’d came.

Now he walked toward what might be the Doomstar. He’d still never gotten a good look at it, either back then or now. The clouds never parted. But the lights were his only points of navigation, as there were no more stars.  
It didn’t matter what it really was, this other light now ahead of him. It didn’t move, so it could be followed. Might as well keep calling it the Doomstar, that’s how he thought of it.  
This direction felt more _right_ , somehow.

That made sense, in a way, now that he was thinking about it. All that weird stuff when he’d joined the band, which may or may not have ever been real, his light was always blue. The red was Skwisgaar, and the others, he was the one who didn’t match, didn’t fit. Except somehow he had?  
Later they’d told him how the Doomstar stayed blue until they found him, then it turned red and the power thing had happened.  
They never really talked about that part.

Water no longer flowed in this new world, at least not that he’d seen. Where it was no longer frozen, it sat in brackish pools, and Toki pitied anyone who drank of it. It even smelled bad.  
Tree skeletons dotted the landscape, showing no signs of life. Maybe the trees would come back eventually, if he ignored them hard enough?  
Of all the possible powers one might have, his was only destruction? When he wanted _anything_ but?  
It wasn’t fair!

Sometimes there were rivers, those still moved. Toki was forced to move closer to areas where there might be people to cross them, to use the bridges.  
He kept his eyes down and hurried, this river was huge, way too wide to even think about swimming, he didn’t have a choice. He walked until he found the bridge, it was really long! There were a lot of tracks, there were people still alive, and they came this way.  
But he had to keep going. If he flipped his goggles up he could scan for people, but he didn’t dare.

Staying as far to the side as possible, focusing on his own feet, Toki hurried along. If he met people, there was nowhere to go. He’d consider jumping if he thought it would kill him, except he was pretty sure it wouldn’t.  
He made it almost halfway across without passing anyone (as far as he knew) but then he heard the voice.  
“Daddy! That man doesn’t have a coat! Hey mister!” Other voices too, responding to the child.  
Shit! Not knowing what else to do, still keeping his eyes down, Toki started running.

He slipped on an icy patch and went down hard, but reflexively rolled and took little damage. Getting back up he ran on, but a little slower and more carefully.  
He slipped a few more times, but managed to stay on his feet.  
What about the people behind him, and any unseen ones he may have passed? Were they okay? He didn’t know.  
Finally reaching the end, Toki kept running, heading off the road and safely away from everyone else.

*****

Sometimes he stopped and slept. He apparently didn’t need sleep, but could still do it. Sometimes he just needed a break from everything.  
He knew he wouldn’t freeze to death, so he would usual just try to find a spot where he’d be mostly hidden, and hope for the best.  
There was no way to ever know how long these naps of his lasted, hours, days, maybe even longer? It didn’t matter.  
Eventually he’d wake up, get up, and resume walking toward the Doomstar. Again and again.

Sometimes, often, there were dead animals around him when he woke, things that had either been curious or wanted to eat him. But at least no more people had found him.  
He hated waking up to their frozen corpses, their dead accusing eyes. Nothing could even eat their bodies, when they were close to him. Maybe they made a meal for something once he was gone?  
The rattlesnakes one day surprised him, curled against him when he woke.  
So close to his body they weren’t frozen, so he thought they were alive at first, but of course they weren’t.

Sometimes he still talked with his band, but sometimes they all ran out of stuff to say. Or some days they mostly asked him questions he couldn’t answer. Some days they wouldn’t leave him alone, their voices overlapping until he couldn’t even make out what they were saying, but could hear the accusing tone of it all.  
But some days were still good, when one would walk with him, even if they didn’t have much to say to each other.  
He’d grown a apprehensive, never knowing what to expect from his company, which now felt way more real.  
Sometimes his parents talked to him too, but he didn’t like that and made them go away.

Toki had taken to entering the occasional building that he was sure was empty, going completely around towns (or the remains of them) was just too much trouble. And he was curious about what might remain.  
He’d seen more religious graffiti in places, like right after it all happened. Was it new, or leftover? As before, most of the verses referred to the devil, or the end of days.  
Was _he_ the devil they warned of? Dethklok had certainly brought on the end of days.  
But they wouldn’t have done it if they hadn’t had to stop Selatcia...

But, sifting through abandoned belongings, Toki discovered he was known. There were warnings about him, warnings to avoid him. The description was bad, but he could tell they meant him. And also because they used his name.  
That was probably why he didn’t see people anymore, he still wore the goggles so they could see him long before he saw them. Good for them.  
Maybe these buildings _weren’t_ empty, maybe the people had fled before him?  
If so, that sucked! He didn’t want to push people out of their homes!

He really missed his band at times like these, seeing evidence that other people still had people. But if there was any kind of afterlife, he hoped they were there, and happy there.  
Unlike him.  
But he liked it that they still visited him, talked to him sometimes, walked with him sometimes. Even if it was all in his head? It was hard to be sure anymore, felt too real.  
How far had he come? What would happen when he eventually reached to other sea?

The landscape seemed to be changing. With everything around him so dead, it was hard to be sure, but the ground under his feet had turned rocky and he’d left the skeletal trees mostly behind. A desert then, or at least a place where a lot less grew? There should be less people and animals too, at least he thought there should be. Definitely less plants.  
He’d shifted south of the road he’d been distantly following a while back, too many buildings, and continued this new path west. The snow was mostly gone here, so he could see well enough to probably not trip over anything.  
When it all got to be too much to deal with, again, he slept.

*****

Skwisgaar was back. He tended to talk more than the others, but Toki never knew what he would get. “Silly Toki, you don’ts even knows how to dies right. And I t’ink you knows it.”  
“I would if I coulds! This sucks! I’s real glad you visits me though.”  
“Pfft, somebodies gots to be watching outs for you, ja?”  
His hallucinations were very real to him now, he wanted to reach out and touch Skwisgaar but didn’t dare break the illusion.  
It _was_ an illusion, right? 

“Skwisgaar... you’s not actualies reallies here, are you?”  
“Who else woulds you be talksing to rights now?”  
“At this point, I don’ts even fuckings know anymores. You never spends this much time with me when you’s alive.”  
“Well maybe I amns’t gots not’ing better to does rights now? You ams stucks with me.”

“Hey Skwisgaar? If I asks you someting really weirds, will you promises not to makes fun of me?”  
“Pfft, whens would I ever be promising a t’ing like dat? Jus’ asks me.”  
Typical Skwisgaar! “Fine, I says it! You remembers back that day you all hires me?”  
“Noes, who de hell ams you anyways?” But he was smiling.

“Fucks you, Skwisgaar! I’s being serious! I gots to know this!”  
“Alrights, goes on den, asks.”  
“When we was playings... Does you remember flying around in the skies and havings a fight with clouds and colors? And you was a horsie, and I hads wings?”  
“Ja of courses, I was dere, wasn’t I?”  
Toki nodded, thinking. If Skwisgaar was real, he’d just confirmed it all. If he was just imaginary, then this didn’t mean anything. But if he was just imaginary, Toki didn’t want to know. They walked on.

Skwisgaar stayed with him for two days this time, helpfully pointing out distant points of smoke that Toki couldn’t see through his goggles, helped him avoid them.  
It was really nice to have help, to not have to worry about everything all by himself.  
But then he was just gone, again.  
Toki took a nap.

*****

“I like the deschert.”  
Murderface was back! Toki had been walking alone for a while, and was happy to have company again. “Oh hi Moiderface!” The snows were mostly gone in this region, and it was indeed very sandy. Had it been a desert here before? He didn’t know.  
“Remember that schandschape I made? It was aschome, you all don’t apprechiate art.”  
“It was a holy lots of sand?”  
“That’sch how you make a schandschape! Jeez!”

“That thing you makes a table outs of was pretties cool though.”  
“Yeah, that wasch badassch! I had to schpecial order that.”  
“What happens to it?”  
“Nathan made me schend it back. He schaid it was too _expenschive._ ”

“Whats was Dethklok like befores me?” He’d never asked any of them that.  
Murderface shrugged, “We were already schigned, but Magnusch was an asschole who inschsted on writing all our partsch, even though Schwisgaar wasch better, scho the muschic was different. But he didn’t care much about me, scho I had it easchier back then.”  
“Skwisgaar was kinds of hards on you sometimes,” Toki nodded, “but he always redoes all my parts too.”  
Murderface seemed a bit agitated now, and Toki regretted not sticking to safer topics. He hoped silence would resolve it?

But no, things took a sudden bad turn, as they tended to do too often these days. “The worscht thing we ever did wasch hire you.”  
“I sorries! I didn’t ever means for bad stuff to happens!”  
“Thisch isch all your fault!” Murderface waved his arms to indicate absolutely everything still in existance.  
“I KNOWS! Leaves me alones!”   
And he was alone again.

*****

Abigail walked beside him, she never spoke and he didn’t speak to her. Apologies were useless, he’d apologized to them all a million times in his head, but they were all still dead.  
Unless they really were coming back to walk with him? He still had never dared touch one, couldn’t bear it if they turned out to not be real after all.  
He walked, she walked, ever westwardly, one foot in front of the other, keep the star ahead.  
He was positive it was the real Doomstar at this point. If he wasn’t just imagining it too?

When he looked over again, Abigail was gone and it was Charles keeping his pace.  
Or had it been Charles all along?  
This was all so confusing.  
They didn’t speak to each other either.

*****

Time was a figment of his imagination at this point, the red-tinted sky above never changed, the blue light in the distance never grew closer.  
He’d managed to prove that he was immortal, or dead, or... well he hadn’t been able to rule out anything, but he did know he hadn’t eaten or drank anything in a long time now, and he was still walking. He knew he didn’t need to sleep either, it was just the only escape he had left.  
What was real anymore, was anything?  
Did it even matter?

Pickles made a surprise visit. “I’m pritty sure thet’s peyote.” He opened with, pointing at some small cactus things.  
“Yeah thanks, Pickle. Now it’s deads because I looks at it.” Pickles was a rare visitor, because even in this form he tended to be high.  
“Eat it anyway!”  
“I’s goings to pass on that, don’ts want to eats a rock thinking I sees drugs. That doesn’t sounds fun. Reallies wish I hads some booze though...”

“Whatever dood, more fer me then!” Imaginary(?) Pickles started shoving them in his mouth, chewing.  
“Before you starts trippings too hards, I wants to knows something! Way back when we all does yopo, what dids you see? When you looks at me, I means?”  
Pickles swallowed, and shoved the rest of the tiny cactuses in his pockets. “I don’t wanna talk about thet! Okie fine, you were rally feckin’ freaky, dood! And _naught_ inna good way. Happy now?” Then he promptly faded away without waiting for an answer.

*****

Toki was thinking again. That tended to not end well, but he had nothing better to do.  
What if it _wasn’t_ all because of him? What if he was just a... leftover of what happened, or something? Something about him had changed, that was for sure. But maybe _everything else_ had changed too, and all this fucked up shit he was blaming himself for wasn’t even his fault?  
If only there was some way to _know_!

Okay, people around him died. That was a fact.  
Well, his band died, but they’d all been at ground zero, with Selatcia himself, so the only really surprising part was that he himself wasn’t dead.  
Other than that girl, he didn’t know if caused people to die. He couldn’t even be sure he’d caused hers, maybe she’d been sick and it just wasn’t the obvious kind? Or maybe he'd slept much longer than he'd thought?  
All his life, everything he’d believed, maybe it had just all been in his head?

The animals though...  
But animals died all the time, everything did these days. How many did he miss because he passed their snow-covered bodies unaware? Maybe he only saw the dead around him because he’d stopped moving, and tended to sleep in sheltered areas where the snow wasn’t deep?  
Animals looked for sheltered areas too, when tired, sick, or dying. Maybe that was all it was?  
Maybe even the fucking _sun_ had nothing at all to do with him? He still couldn’t explain that.

_But what if it all did connect to him_ , what if it was all really his fault, as it’d felt for so long?  
The flowers that had died in front of him, that was proof, right? Or was it? He didn’t know shit about flowers, maybe that was normal. Most everything was dead, from the cold or the poisoned air.  
The air wasn’t his fault, he completely blamed Selatcia and the dumbass trigger happy world leaders and their stupid nukes for that one. Nope, that wasn’t Toki!”

But what if he’d been right all along, about the rest, and all this death was on him?   
He couldn’t test that theory, couldn’t take the risk. Couldn’t prove it was or wasn’t.  
He’d just have to keep assuming that anything he looked directly at would die. And even if it wasn’t him, he didn’t want to see stuff die.   
With an aggravated sigh, Toki just kept walking.

*****

“You’re running out of room, you know.”  
Toki was happy to see Nathan back (as long as he didn’t get yelled at) but was confused. “Rooms?”  
“Yeah, and then what?” Nathan clarified nothing at all.  
“I don’ts know?”  
“Ugh. Well you’ll find out.”

The next time Toki looked over, Nathan was gone, but when he turned his head, he found Skwisgaar walking on his other side.   
Had he been there before? Toki looked up so infrequently anymore that, unless they spoke, he might never be aware of them at all.  
It really sucked that he might be missing visits!   
But he didn’t really dare look up much, because he might accidently see something else. “Skwisgaar? How longs you’s been there?”

“Stupids Toki, don’t even knows when it ams time to leaves.”  
“I don’ts know what you means! And how longs you’s been there?”  
“Nots long. You ever t’ink dat maybe we always leaves you behind because we gots tired of waitings for you?”  
“I don’ts understands what you’s talkings about!” Why wouldn’t they ever explain anything to him?

“Pfft, you never does. We all tries, but you amns’t gettings it. Sames old Toki.”  
“Tries again, I listens real good this times!”  
But he shook his head. “You ams on you’s own now, sorries.” And he was gone.  
“SKWISGAAR WAITS COMES BACK!” But there was no response, and he was alone again.  
He had no idea what he was supposed to do, so he just kept walking.

*****

He walked and walked, until he could walk no further.   
He’d run out of land.  
He’d had no company for weeks now, they really had all abandoned hm.  
If there was an afterlife, if that was a thing, he again hoped they were there now, and happy. They deserved no less.

Toki had finally reached the sea, again. Now what?  
Should he maybe turn around, and walk back the other way, again?  
This shore was sharper, with cliffs leading down to the water. The water itself was dark.   
But still in the distance, forever in the distance, was the Doomstar, waiting. Toki sat down to think.

Why did it even fucking matter?! What was he supposed to do, walk back and forth forever?!  
Why couldn’t he just _die_ already?!  
Unless he was already dead?  
THIS WAS BULLSHIT!

“Hey, calm down!”  
Nathan was back! “Nathan! Tells me what to do!”  
“You already know what to do.”  
“No I don’ts!”  
“Uh, yeah you do, follow it. Follow it home.”

Then Nathan was gone, if he’d even been there at all?  
It didn’t matter. Follow the Doomstar.   
Was that really Nathan, or just his mind telling him what to believe?  
Toki made his way down to the beach and sat on the sand.  
Maybe he should sleep on it, put it off for a bit longer? But he’d slept enough already, and his deep tiredness was the kind no amount of sleep could ever touch. He would just be stalling, again.

What would happen, if he kept walking, followed it?  
He could hardly bring himself to care anymore.  
The Doomstar made a faint path of light on the water, like the moon used to but fainter, filtered by the forever clouds. _Follow the path._  
Nathan said so. So it was okay, it was right?

Toki stood and walked to the water’s edge.   
He reached up and pulled his goggles off, tossing them somewhere behind him, seeing the sky clearly again for the first time in a long time. The light, weak as it still was, made him squint at first until his eyes remembered how to adjust.  
He kept his focus on the distant light, and that alone.

Right or wrong, this was it. Resolutely, he waded in.  
The water was cold, swirling around his legs, then spilling into his boots.  
Don’t look down, don’t see the fish, if there even were fish left.   
Toki kept walking towards the light...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those wondering this never-specified route, I didn’t have any real towns in mind but Toki started east from the Alabama/ Mississippi area, traveled roughly level with I-20 (except when detouring to avoid cities) and reached the east coast in what was probably the South Carolina area. Going west, he again stayed around the I-20 level, and used the [I-20 bridge](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCNq7ilSs_0) to cross the Mississippi river. Then in the central/ west Texas area, he started veering south into the more desert. He vaguely followed I-10 and then I-8, then veered south again somewhere in California, and eventually hit the west coast in northern Mexico.
> 
> Ah shit, I just realized not all of you know what welding/burning goggles are. They work [like this](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41Vjte3Gr9L.jpg), but I was personally picturing the more vintage (think sort of steampunk?) type.
> 
> If you wanted to know something else, ask. I might have answers.


End file.
